


Pills & Promises (A Joshler FanFic)

by Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Actually the love is mutual but neither one of them will admit it, Alternate Universe, Angst, Basketball player Tyler (implied), Cheating, Dark Thoughts, Death, Depressing Thoughts, Depression, Disappointment, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Flashbacks, Gay Sex, Graphic depictions of violence and blood, Groping, Hearing Voices, High School student Tyler, Homelessness, Hotels, I have zero experience with drugs/alcohol so I'm very uneducated, I might release it publicly or might not, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, In present time Tyler is 17 and Josh is 21, Jealously, Josh comes from a broken home, Josh is nothing but trouble, Josh wants to love Tyler but refuses, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Making Out, Maybe I'll just have names for songs to listen to for each chapter instead, Mental Disorders, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, No band, Partying, Peer Pressure, Pressure, Recreational Drug Use, Revised/edited story, Self Harm, Semi Smut, Sex, Sexual Assault, Sexual Content, Smut, There's a playlist for this, Therefore some stuff might not be accurate so I apologize, Toxic Relationships, Triggering Material, Tyler bottoms, Tyler falls for Josh but refuses to admit it, Tyler still writes songs but they are never shared with anyone else, Tyler turns bad slowly but surely, Underage Alcohol Consumption, Unrequited Love, Updated December of 2016, break ups, feelings of worthlessness, first time drug use, hard drugs, internal struggling, josh tops, lying, mental health, more tags to be added as the story progresses, overdoses, rape/non con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 44
Words: 33,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7588513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX/pseuds/Xx_Addict_With_A_Pen_xX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler Joseph is the picture perfect son that his parents had always wished for. Josh Dun is the delinquent, drug addicted son that his parents never wanted. When the two boys cross paths at a party one night, their lives begin to change. The real question that stands is will the change be for the better, or for the worst? </p><p>Or </p><p>The super dark and depressing, fucked up Joshler fan fic that nobody asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Summary (Contains No Spoilers)

**Author's Note:**

> I will try my best to tag accordingly to the possible triggers that may follow in the chapters to come but I may not catch them all. Read with caution.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A "sneak peak" of what this story is going to be about without giving anything away.

Tyler Joseph, he's what most would consider the "Perfect Son". He dedicates every Sunday to his faith by attending Church with his family, gets straight A’s in every one of his classes, and obeys every command that comes out of his parent’s mouths without question. He was raised right. By the time Tyler turned 13, he already had a clear set of goals he wanted to accomplish in his life. At the top of that list was graduating high school. Just below that was attending Ohio State University with a basketball scholarship. He had only dreamt of getting accepted there. Taking into consideration all the money that it would require for him to attend such an amazing university, he made sure to add getting a full time job by the time he was 16 to the list. With the thought of his loving parents in mind, he made sure that getting married and starting his own family was placed onto his lifetime goals to accomplish list. He knew that his dime-piece wife was out there somewhere. Or husband for that matter. But he would never tell his parents that. He has a few secrets but then again, who doesn't?  Everything seemed to be going according to plan until he met Joshua Dun, a dangerous boy with bright red hair, deep mocha eyes, and an irresistibly mysterious ambiance that drew Tyler in like blood to a shark. 

Josh Dun was the polar opposite of Tyler. He came from a broken home that showed him no love and it was because of this that his faith was forever lost. He gave his mother hell but in his eyes, she deserved it. Josh was kicked out of his so called home at the age of 16 and was forced to live on the streets for the remainder of his teenage years. He care little to none about other people and what they thought of him. After all, why should he be bothered to care about anyone else when nobody bothered to give a shit about him?

When Josh crosses paths with a boy who appears severely broken yet innocent, He finds himself intrigued to say the least. Tyler had always been told to avoid people like Josh. With their dyed hair and self-mutilated  bodies, he had been taught that doing such things to alter your appearance made God angry. And that only people who worshiped the devil did such unspeakable things to themselves. Josh was the perfect example of the kind of person his parents had warned him about but despite it all, Tyler can't seem to look away as Josh's eyes meet his.


	2. Life As I Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts off as just another average Friday and turns out to be Tyler's final day in his life as he knows it. Everything is about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just add this here to get it out of the way. Tyler has two major secrets (more will surface once he meets Josh and stuff) anyways the two major secrets are 1. That he's not completely straight [I say "not completely straight" because Tyler is basically gay but he does have a girlfriend so I mean]  
> And 2. That he has a voice in his head (Blurryface)   
> He keeps both of these a secret from his family and just about everyone else (except for Jenna cause that's his best friend and she supports him) Because his parents are strict Christians and don't believe in equal rights. He keeps Blurryface a secret from everyone including Jenna cause he's very insecure about him and doesn't want anyone to think he's crazy or disappoint his parents.

(Tyler’s POV)

  It was 5AM on a Friday. I had been awake for hours trying to block out the voice in the back of my head.

  _"What's the matter Tyler?"_ **Blurryface**  snickered. 

 _"Couldn't sleep?"_ His laughter felt like razor blades lodged in my skull.

This was unusual. It was Friday and he usually never showed up on a Friday. After remembering that I had promised my mother that I would take my siblings to school this morning, I decided that I'd better get up and start getting ready to go to school.

 _"Why even bother getting up? You know you're just a waste of space!"_ He shouted as I walked towards the bathroom. 

 _"Stop ignoring me Tyler!"_  I opened the medicine cabinet and reached for the migraine medicine I bought from Rite Aid.

 _"You know you can't get rid of me! I am you, you are me we are **one**_ _"_ I washed the pills down with some water from the tap.

It was the only thing that made him shut up sometimes.

 _-_  Later that morning _-_

  As I made my way to my locker, a feeling of paranoia washed over me. Something about today just felt off. 

 "Tyler!" A domestic voice shouted momentarily pushing my thoughts aside.

 I shut my locker door and turned to my left only to see my girlfriend, Lauren running towards me. Once she reached where I was standing she briefly bent over to catch her breath.

"I have a question." She grinned after regaining her breath.

"I might have an answer." I replied with a grin.

"Brendon Urie is having a party tonight and I want you to come with me." She smiled with a glisten of hope in her eyes.

Now, I don't usually judge a person solely on their so called reputation because half the time their rep is just a facade for the purpose of fitting in at school but Brendon Urie was one of the few kids who actually lived up to his reputation. He was bad news. And his parties always meant trouble.

"Well, that's not a question.” I point out wittily.

"And Lauren, you know I don't do parties. They're j-"

"Just a place where teens go to hook up and get wasted on cheap booze" She recited finishing my sentence.

“Yeah, plus my parents would never let me go.” I added.

"Oh c’mon Ty, live a little! Can't you break the rules just this once? For me?” Lauren gave her best pouty face and batted her coated eyelashes. 

“I don't know…” I replied looking down at my hands and playing with my fingernails.

“It'll be fun! I promise! Plus, it'll give us both a chance to talk to the seniors and get a better social status around here!” She smiled locking her hand with mine.

That was one of the few places where Lauren and I differed. She wanted to fit it, wanted to be a part of the popular clique. I never cared much about fitting in or being considered "cool". I mean sure I was on the basketball team but let's be real... If you're not the captain, you're not really important. I was just in school to learn the curriculum I needed to get into a good college and that was it. 

"I’m sorry but my answer is still no.” I answer with guilt.

"Whatever, your loss" She mutters letting go of my hand.

"I'll talk to you later.” I give her a quick peck on the cheek before going to my own class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos on the previous chapter! I'm so happy some of you guys actually like this. Let me know what you think of this first like actual chapter :)


	3. Heartbreak Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 3AM. Long story short, Tyler goes to that party to find Lauren and something unexpected happens.

(Tyler’s POV)

***Buzz Buzz***

I was rudely awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. Groaning, I reached for the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"H-hheyyyy Hot stuff! " It was Lauren.

I turned my lamp on and sat up on the edge of my bed looking at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. The bright red digits reading **3:15AM**. Doesn't she have any idea what time it is?

"Lauren? Did you mean to call me? Where even are you? It's really loud sounding there." I observed, hearing the bass bounce through from the other line.

"Woo! Pass me a-n-nothe-rr shot Quinn!" She shouted/slurred.

I was beyond confused.

"Lauren! Where are you? Hello?" I whisper shouted through the phone. 

"Mhm baby." She moaned out suddenly.

I knitted my brows together in confusion. 

"You're at a party aren't you?" I asked aloud even though I knew by now that she didn't know she called me so therefore I wouldn't be getting an answer.

It was at this moment that I had a decision to make. Get up and try to figure out where my girlfriend was and make sure she got home safely or got back to bed and deal with her in the morning. 

" _You do know that if you go back to sleep now she might end up dead or something and it will be all. your. fault!"_ **Blurry** taunted my mind. 

The only choice I had now was to take my car and pray to God that my parents didn't wake up. I quietly grabbed my coat and car keys before sneaking out the front door and starting the car.

 _"This should be fun."_ **Blurry** snickered as I pulled out of the driveway. 

Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come...


	4. I Can't Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler makes it to the party. He sees something he wish he hadn't.

(Tyler’s POV)

  I eventually made it to Lauren's destination (thanks to Find My IPhone) and took a deep breath before shutting off the engine and getting out of the car.

 _"What's this? Tyler Joseph at a party? And at such an ungodly hour of day too? Oooh somebody call his mommy!"_ **Blurry** cackled as I approached the door. 

"Shut up" I growled, gaining a few looks from people in earshot. 

_"Good going dumbshit now even more people think you're crazy!"_

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? 

Pushing the thoughts of **Blurry** aside, I dialed Lauren's number as I maneuvered past all the sweaty bodies but it just kept ringing. I was about to leave a voicemail when I finally caught sight of her.

I wish I hadn't though...

She had her legs wrapped around some guy's waist and was practically eating his face. My heart sunk deep into my chest. It sunk even more when the guy turned around and I finally got a good look at his face. The guy my (soon to be ex) girlfriend was making out with was Ryan Jacobs, aka the captain of the basketball team and one of my close acquaintances. I felt so betrayed and disgusted. How could they do this to me?

I have to be honest when I say that as much as it shocked me initially, there were always certain suspicions about the two of them.  Whether it was her constant questions about his well-being or his lingering stares I always just tried my best to ignore that jealous feeling that made itself home in my chest. After all, my sweet and loving girlfriend and very close acquaintance would never betray me like that right? I did bring the situation up once but Lauren had just convinced me that I was being a paranoid, jealous boyfriend so I had decided to drop the whole thing altogether. I should have known. 

_"Oh well would you look at that! We **were**  right all along!!" **Blurry** taunted me._

 Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"No, _please_ not now **Blurry**." I pleaded.

He just let out a low chuckle.

"Tyler mother fucking Joseph?!" I heard from behind me. 

Pete Wentz, one of the football players from school drunkenly made his way over to me. He never "bullied" me per say but he definitely wasn't nice to me either.

"H-hey Pete." I mumbled so not to be rude.

He was about to say something else to me, but a few of his friends pulled him into the crowd of people dancing when a new song came on. I was thankful for that and saw my opportunity to make my way out of the crowded house and back towards my car but with all the people dancing and jumping around, I quickly lost sight of the front door. Panic spread throughout my body until I spotted a sliding glass door in the kitchen that seemed to lead into a backyard. As I slid the door open, I was thankful to see that nobody else was out there. I finally collapsed against the porch railing and began to sob. Who knew that answering a drunken butt dial at 3AM would lead to my life spiraling downwards almost instantly. At least with the rain falling gently nobody could see my tears.


	5. Broken Boy Meets Broken Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One broken boy meets another. The end of Tyler's life as he knows it begins

* * *

(Tyler’s POV)

  It felt like nearly every unpleasant emotion a human being could possibly feel was racing through my veins all at once. I couldn't feel anything but at the same time I felt everything. It was in this very moment that I wanted to give up; on everything.

 _"Then why don't you? What's holding you back?"_ **Blurry** spat at me.

I didn't even have the strength to pay any attention to the menacing voice in my head. Nothing felt even remotely real to me and I was almost convinced I had dreamt it all. Any minute now, I'd still be laying in my nice warm bed and everything I've just experienced wouldn't have ever happened. But, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that this was just another far too realistic nightmare, **Blurry** was always there to set my mind straight.

 _"Oh, poor poor Tyler. Always relying on me to help him distinguish his imagination from reality. Don't you known that relying entirely on another person is bad for your health?"_ He clicked his tongue and then snickered to himself. 

 _"Maybe this is real life maybe it isn't. I think I'll let you figure it out on your own."_ **Blurry** smirked. 

 _"You know how I love to watch you squirm."_ He added before retreating to the back of my mind. 

- 

I climbed up onto the porch railing and sat. It was time for me to think back and figure out what exactly I had done to anger God so badly. This was the only logical explanation to why all this bad stuff was happening to me. 

"What has my life become?" I sighed, looking at the stars.

i could feel **Blurry's** presence, as if he were about to answer the rhetorical question but something else caught my attention instead.

"Rough Night?" 

 I whipped my head down and to the left only to find myself face to face with a boy who could only be described as the most exquisite yet devilish human being I've ever seen. His ambiance screamed danger and I was hooked on getting to know him. With his leather coated torso and strong aroma of cigarette smoke,  I silently wondered if I should just walk away now. But when I took another look at him, and my chocolate eyes met his deep mocha ones, I felt safe. Almost like I had found the answer to some million dollar question. 

"It's that obvious huh?" I responded with a dry chuckle, surprised that I even had the confidence to talk to a complete stranger.

"Not painfully so. I'm just good at reading people I guess." He says with a shrug, taking a sip out of a flask filled with what I'm guessing was some sort of alcoholic beverage.

He must have been observing me for quite awhile to read me so well. It made me wonder.

"How long had I been here?" I mentally asked myself.

"How long has he been here?" I glance over at the perfect stranger, panic filling my chest.

"What's your name kid?" The strange boy asked, metaphorically pulling me back down to Earth.

"I'm not a kid." Why must I be so literal?

He rolled his eyes and smirked.

"I'm Josh." He says introducing himself.

"Tyler." I reply so quietly that I was unsure if he had heard me.

"Tyler." He recites, letting it roll off his tongue.

"Well, Tyler," He began, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Why is it that you're at this party when you're so sad hmm?" He asked exhaling the smoke from his cigarette into the night sky.

That was a good question.

"It's kind of a long story." I replied choking on the secondhand smoke.

"I've got time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At laaaaasssstttt the boys meet! Thank you all so very much for the comments, kudos, and views. I don't think I'll ever find the right sequence of words to describe how grateful I truly am for how you guys appreciate my writing style and how you always come back for more and are always here to read the updates it really warms my heart TBH


	6. Intoxicate Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler does drugs for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** WARNING ***
> 
> The word "rape" is used in this chapter twice. (no actual content is said or mentioned or anything I just want anyone to know so that if it were a trigger word you were aware.)

(Tyler's POV)

  "And that's my story so far..." I finished with a shrug and lazy sigh.

"Wow." Josh chuckled taking another swig of whatever was in the flask.

I had just spilled my entire life story to a guy that I just met a few hours prior and yet, it almost felt like I had been talking to someone I had known my whole life.

"Sounds like you've had quite the night."

"You have no idea." I replied with a dry laugh.

"I just want to forget it all ever happened." I said more to myself than anyone else. 

A few moments of comfortable silence went by as Josh lit another cigarette. Of course it wasn't really silent with the loud music blasting inside but no words were exchanged between the two of us.

"You know," Josh finally spoke up.

Oh god what was he going to say?

 _"He probably thinks that you're a fucked up basket case. In which case he's right. You really shouldn't have told him everything you idiot."_ **Blurry's** voice nagged in the back of my mind.

"I don't generally offer my supply to strangers; at least not for free." He chuckled, stomping on the butt of his cigarette with his boot.

"...but I like you, and i'm feeling a little generous tonight."

My eyes widened. Was he offering me drugs?

"I have some stuff on me that could help you forget the bad shit in your life. For the night anyways. You interested?"

My mouth went dry. I couldn't possibly take mystery drugs. Let alone from a stranger! He could give me date rape drugs for all I know! 

" _Say yes."_ **Blurry**  all but screamed.

_"Maybe then you can overdose and you'll finally be able to do what should have been done a long time ago. Kill yourself."_

I didn't want to agree with him. But, I felt like my mind was going to explode if I kept thinking about all that was happening in my life. So, I spat my reply out before I had time to think about all the possible consequences of my actions.

"Yeah, hit me."

Josh's grin was ominous as he dug around in the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling out a small plastic bag filled with pills.

"Here." He said handing me two white pills and his nearly empty flask filled with what I found to be whiskey once I took a swig.

"No turning back now." I thought to myself swallowing the contents in my mouth.

He took two as well, washing them down with the last swallow of whiskey in the flask.

_"Good, now hopefully you'll close your eyes tonight and never open them again."_

With the high of the toxic mixture that seemed to be setting in rather quickly, I couldn't be bothered to listen to **Blurry** and his comments. Before I could process what was happening, Josh had me by the hand, dragging me inside.

"Where are we going?!" I shouted over the music. My heartbeat pounding in my ears.

"This way!" He replied just as loud with a chuckle.

He had taken me to a bedroom upstairs. Luckily, it had been unoccupied.

 _"Oh good this strange boy that you've just taken drugs from is going to rape you now how fantastic."_ **Blurry's** voice dripped with sarcasm.

"What are y-" I began but was silenced by an index finger to my lips.

"Stay here."

I had no idea what was happening, but for some reason, I had no concern about it either. 


	7. Am I In Love With You? Or Am I In Love With This Feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More booze, more drugs, more confusing thoughts and feelings.

(Tyler's POV)

 It turns out that when Josh disappeared downstairs, he had actually gone to steal more alcohol from the "bar" in the kitchen. Upon his return, he placed an almost empty bottle of whiskey on the bedside table along with three pre rolled joints.

"Have you smoked weed before? " Josh asked, already lighting one of the joints up and taking a drag. 

I let out a slow nod, recalling the time that one of the kids from my middle school had gotten a hand on their mom's medical marijuana stash and decided to share it with his circle of friends. Let's just say that nobody knew what they were doing and it most definitely was not an enjoyable experience for any of us. Josh raised an eyebrow at my hesitant reply but quickly forgot about it when he took another long drag. 

"This is some good shit. You've gotta try it man." He grinned, closing his eyes and extending the hand that held the joint out towards me. 

I stared at Josh's hand for longer than would have been considered normal. Despite being not very sober, a small part of me still hesitated to take the joint from his outstretched hand. After all, I had little to no experience smoking pot and was bound to make a fool of myself if I did it. On the other hand, I'd look like a pretty big asshole if I didn't take it. Whilst trying to decide whether or not to take the damn joint, my eyes wandered to Josh's face. His eyes were still closed and his smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. I couldn't help but think about how it would feel to kiss him. With a shake of my head, I quickly dismissed that thought. All the smoke in the air must have been messing with me badly. Josh finally opened his eyes and glanced over at me. This made me remember that I had yet to take the joint from him. My mind was in no condition to be making decisions so I let my mouth do it instead.

"O-okay." I stuttered, taking the joint and placing it delicately between my fingers before bringing it to my lips and inhaling. 

With the first drag, I immediately began choking and coughing on the smoke that got caught in my throat and chest. My cheeks reddened as Josh bursted out in laughter.

"Let me guess, you've never smoked pot a day in your life. Right?" More blood rushed to my face due to the embarrassment. 

I gave a small nod. 

"I guess I'll just have to show you how it's done then won't I?" Josh questioned, his tone very suggestive. 

I bit my lip shyly. 

"I guess you will." 


	8. I Just Wanna Feel Your Lips Against My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh may or may not make out in this chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** MILD SMUT *** 
> 
> By that I mean making out and shit so you know just be warned lmao

(Tyler's POV)

 Time seemed to stop moving as Josh and I lay on our backs, inhaling the smoke from what little remained of the still burning joint. It took a few more tries than I would have liked but after some guidance from Josh, I could finally inhale the intoxicating substance without coughing up a lung in the process. It felt nice to be able to just live in the moment instead of constantly thinking about the past and future. Things were quiet, but for the first time, it wasn't violent. I could finally sit in silence peacefully without hearing **Blurry** telling me how much of a failure I am and would always be. It was nice. 

"Joints almost gone." I commented after taking another drag, causing Josh to lift his head and look at me.

"Give it here I wanna try something." He replied, lazily reaching his hand out and sitting up. 

I passed it to him and sat up as well. When I handed it back to him, he brought it to his lips and inhaled deeply. He motioned for me to come closer so I did. When I did, he grabbed me by my shirt and brought his lips to mine, exhaling the deep hit he just took passed my slightly parted lips. I inhaled the smoke and relished the amazing high it gave me.

"Woah." I breathed out. 

"W-what was that?" 

"Shotgun kiss." Josh replied with a smirk.

I blinked, and then grinned at him before launching forward and straddling his lap. I wasted no time crashing our lips together once again, this time, slipping my tongue between his teeth. My mind was so hazy I loved the way it made me feel. Josh fought for dominance and won as he pinned my hands above my ahead. I moaned softly as his lips wandered down my jaw and to my neck. He sucked gently, making sure to leave a mark. Another breathy moan escaped my lips as he grinded his hips down into mine. The friction created was euphoric. He let go of my hands only for a moment so we could remove our shirts. Once we reconnected, my fingers found themselves tangled in his hair. I tugged gently earning a moan from his perfect  lips. I then flipped us so I was on top again with my legs on either side of him. I began to suck on his neck.

"You're so fucking hot" I breathed out as he moaned.

"Mhmm Shit right there" He replied as I sucked on his sweet spot.

I continued worshipping that one spot. Licking and nipping, soothingly putting my mark on him. By this time, I had completely forgotten about Lauren, and about how I had just met Josh a few hours prior to now. The pills and alcohol intertwined in my bloodstream was nearly enough to make me forget my own name. And I loved the way it made me feel...

Just as his fingers began fumbling with my jean buttons, a fist slammed repeatedly on the door pausing our actions.

"Yo, Dun the cops are here we gotta bounce!" A female shouted through the closed door.

"Yeah she's not kidding we're fucked if they catch us COME ON!" Another female voice joined in.

I looked him in the eyes now. His lips hovering over my own.

"I don't want to stop now." I whispered my breath ghosting over his lips.

He chuckled lightly before pushing me gently off of him and walking towards the locked bedroom door.

"You know what they say, All Bad things must come to an end." He says winking and unlocking the door so his "friends" could enter the room.

"About damn time. Come on we're serious!" One of the girls who I recognized as Ashley Frangipane from the local record shop said.

I didn't recognize the other girl.

"Don't be such pussies I'm coming." He replied as they began climbing out the window of the bedroom.

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Josh, unsure of my next move. Unsure of how everything was going to be now Would I ever see him again?

"Hey" I was pulled from my thoughts.

It was Josh.

He walked over to me and pressed a gentle yet sloppy kiss to my lips.

"See ya around, Baby boy"

And with that... He was gone.


	9. Josh's T-shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler wakes up the next morning in his car.

(Tyler's POV)

 I woke up the next morning in my car. My head was absolutely killing me and the bright sun definitely wasn't helping.

 _"Well good morning sunshine."_ **Blurry** snickered as I searched for my sunglasses. 

"Shut it." I growled, shoving the sunglasses onto my face and looking around for my cell phone. 

After looking for what felt like forever, I found my phone underneath a garment of clothing that was on the passengers seat. I paid it no mind as I turned my phone on.

_'8 missed calls from Mom'_

"Shit." I muttered starting the car and tossing my phone in the cupholder. 

 ~~~~"I'm so dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh Tyler is totally gonna be in T-R-O-U-B-L-E when he gets home haha Also, if you didn't catch on, the "garment of clothing" that is on the passenger seat in Tyler's car is Josh's shirt. I kind of forgot to mention it last chapter and don't know how to write it in but basically Josh forgot to grab his shirt when he left the party and so Tyler took it as proof that the previous night really happened and so that he can smell it and remember how he almost had sex with a stranger blah blah blah you know. I'll probably put something about it in later chapters maybe. Anyways, thank you all very much for reading my story and loving it at that! I never thought my writing would ever be really appreciated by anyone but I'm very glad I decided to post it on here thank you guys so very much! Love you all! <33333333 
> 
> PS Jenna will make an appearance next chapter!


	10. Lies, Lies, Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler goes home and has a confrontation with his parents.

(Tyler's POV)

I drove home and let out a sigh of relief when I found my mother's car was not parked in the driveway. Rushing up to the front door, I tried my best to get inside quickly before someone saw me but it was locked.

_"Forgot your house key again? Good going you worthless piece of shit!"_

I groaned from frustration before remembering that my parent's kept a spare key under the door mat in the backyard. I ran out back and quickly flipped the corner of the mat up, revealing the key. I let out a breath of relief and swiftly put the key in the door's lock before swinging the door open and entering the house. Once I was fully inside, I made a mad dash upstairs to my room. I needed to clean myself up and make up a believable lie to tell my parents when they got home. I checked the clock. 

"2:45pm." I noted. 

My parents were bound to be home any minute now. 

On my way to my room, I passed by a mirror and did a double take at my reflection. I was such a mess. My hair disheveled and tangled,my lips slightly swollen, and my neck littered with dark hickeys. If it weren't for the way I looked, I would have assumed that last night was just a crazy dream. Taking a wiff of myself I realized that I completely reeked of stale cigarette smoke, weed, and alcohol.

“Looks like _someone_ had a good time last night.”

I whipped around at the speed of light only to see my best friend Jenna standing in my bedroom doorway.

"You scared the living shit out of me!" I half shouted clutching my naked chest.

"What are you even doing here?"

"Wow, hello to you too. It's Sunday. You know I always come over for lunch after Church." She replied.

"Ps, your parents are on their way here and they're going to murder you if they come home and see their "good Christian son" covered in hickeys and smelling strongly of illegal substances! Especially when th-" I cut her off.

“Don't say a word to anyone” I hissed grabbing clothes from my dresser and setting them in the bathroom that was attached to my room.

“Jeez, Ty" She raised her hands in surrender.

"I won't speak a sound but what are you going to tell them? Seriously. Where the Hell were you?” She asked, observing me at a closer distance.

“I went to a party.. ” I groaned holding my head in my hands.

I've never been hungover before.

"You?" She laughed.

"What the heck were you doing at a party?!" She asked with a chuckle.

"It's not what you think. Kind of a long story." I reply shooing her out of my bedroom so I can shower.

Jenna shrugged letting the topic go as she walked out of my room

“You better tell me every detail one of these days!" She shouted from the hall as I hopped in the shower.

"Will do." 

 I practically rubbed a few layers of my skin off trying to make sure that every trace of last night ever happening was gone, or at least hidden from my family. As soon as I finished drying off, I heard the car door in my driveway signaling that my parents, and my siblings were home. My eyes went wide as I hurried to throw on my clothes. I was grateful that it was November, so I could get away with wearing a turtleneck. Afterall, I had to cover the dark marks that littered my neck and chest somehow.

"Tyler Robert Joseph!" I heard my mother shout coming up the stairs.

I winced as she used my full name. She only did that when I was in major trouble.

"Tell me where you were this morning!" She demanded.

"I-I wa-" I stammered.

I hadn't really come up with a believable lie yet.

"I'm waiting!" She said impatiently.

"Well, I w-was um a-at the gym?" It came out almost as a question.

She looked at me confused.

"The gym?"

"Y-yeah. Yep that's where I was." I said with a bit more confidence.

"And what exactly were you doing at the gym at 7am on a Sunday?" She questioned tapping her foot with her arms crossed.

I pondered in thought for a moment before replying.

"I was uh s-shooting hoops."

Her face went from angry to unamused. 

"Shooting hoops? Why would you need to be at the gym at 7am on a Sunday to shoot hoops Tyler?"

"I know we have a basketball hoop in the driveway but I didn't want to wake anyone up with the noise from the ball hitting the hoop against the garage. Plus, I haven't been working out as often as I should be. I have to keep up my physique for basketball. I figured I could start the day early so that I still had time in the evening to play Mario kart." I rambled as the lies just kept spilling out of my mouth.

She looked a little hesitant about my response but gave out a soft sigh in the end.

"Well, you scared us all half to death! Don't you ever just disappear like that again!" She scolded, bringing me in for a hug.

"Sorry mom." I said hugging her back.

A few minutes later, Jenna came upstairs to tell me lunch was ready. So, I followed her back downstairs and to the dining room to eat with everyone. As we all sat around the table, it seemed to be a little too quiet. My father finally spoke.

"You know Tyler," He began.

"You missed church this morning."

"Well no duh I hadn't noticed dad" I thought to myself.

"Lauren missed you." He added making me choke on my sandwich.

"Yeah, she seemed really I don't know... off?" Madison added popping a chip into her mouth.

"Yeah more like hungover." I mumbled under my breath remembering what she did last night.

"What was that Tyler?" My father asked.

"N-nothing." I said finishing my food and taking my plate to the sink.

I spent the rest of that day in my room. There was only one thing on my mind...

**_Josh_ **


	11. Spill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler goes back to school Monday morning. He tells Jenna about the party and about Josh on the way there.

(Tyler's POV)

Before I knew it, it was 5:30am. I had little to no sleep the night before because I couldn't stop thinking about everything. About how I was going to have to eventually break up with Lauren, about how I was going to have to tell Jenna what happened at that party, but most importantly, I was constantly thinking about Josh. It only took one taste for me to become addicted. He was like a drug to me.

 _"You're probably never going to see him again you know."_ **Blurry** cut in.

"Shut up." 

 _"Even if you did, what makes you think he'll remember you? You're just a little, insignificant, horny teenage boy. I bet he only likes real men. Men who know how to satisfy."_ He cackled 

I went to reply but my cell rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. When I looked at the screen it read Jenna's name. 

"Hello?" 

"Good! You're awake. I'm going to carpool with you this morning if that's chill. My sister needed the car to drive to work so." She trailed off.

"Y-yeah that's fine Jen." I replied yawning slightly.

"Sick! I'll be over in 15" 

"M'kay see ya then." I responded before hanging up and getting ready for school.

*Fifteen minutes later* 

I was brushing my teeth when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I attempted to say with my mouth full of toothpaste.

Jenna appeared seconds later and gave me a small wave as she sat on my bed.

"I'll be ready in less than 5 minutes." I say after spitting my toothpaste out.

"Take your time." Jenna gives a reassuring smile as she plays on her phone.

I kept my promise and about three minutes later, Jenna and I were walking out the door towards my car.

"So..." Jenna began as we made our way to school.

"So???" I mimicked her tone with a hint of question in my voice.

"You promised you'd tell me about that party you went to Saturday night and about who gave you all those hickeys." She giggled raising her eyebrows in a suggestive way.

I took a deep breath.

" I don't know Jen there's not much to tell." 

"I call bullshit!" 

"Fine." I said sighing.

"Basically, I got an accidental phone call from Lauren at 3am. She was shitfaced and so me being the worried boyfriend I was, decided to drive to this party she was at and go get her to take her home." Jenna nodded, showing that she was listening.

"Well, when I got there, I just so happened to walk in right when she was happily making out with Ryan Jacobs." I continued.

Jenna gasped.

"So, I was upset and decided to sit down outside for awhile. I sat there for God only knows how long before I was approached by a stranger. The stranger happened to be this super hot guy named Josh and we started talking." 

"Oooooh get some Ty!" Jenna giggled.

I let out a small chuckle and shook my head.

"Once we started talking, I practically told him my life story and he offered me pills to help forget some of my problems. I wasn't thinking. Or more so, I was thinking too much, about everything so I took them and mixed them with booze. Both Josh and I got wasted and eventually we went upstairs to some abandoned bedroom and smoked pot. Before I knew it, we were making out and stuff." Jenna looked wide eyed at me. 

"Tyler Robert J-" She began.

"I know I know!" I cut her off.

"I promise I won't take drugs from strangers anymore I'm sorry it was a one time thing." 

"It better be." Jenna grumbled under her breath.

"What happened after you guys made out?" She asked.

"Well, as soon as things began getting _good_ ," My cheeks were dusted pink.

"The cops came to shut the party down and he climbed out the window." I finished just as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"Wow." Jenna huffed, as we got out of the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so basically, everything that has been posted before this chapter was already pre written. Therefore, all I really had to do was edit parts and copy and paste it all in here and publish it. Now, there is no more pre written material at the moment meaning that I have to actually think about what to write next and stuff so I'm just letting you guys know that this story may or may not have slower updates just because I have to think about what to write from now on. I'll try my best to write more and more so that I can get these updates to you faster just bear with me


	12. "I'm Gonna Slap That Cheating Skank When I See Her"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler talks Jenna out of beating Lauren's ass for being a cheating whore.

(Tyler's POV)

 "I'm going to slap that cheating skank when I see her!" Jenna whispered to me harshly as we walked into school.

i quickly pulled her aside.

"No, Jen please I'm going to talk to her about it later today but please don't start anything. I don't want you getting into a fight or getting suspended." 

She sighed deeply.

"Fine. But only because you asked me not to." She grumbled as I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.

"Thank you." 

Jenna and I have a routine for school. We meet in the parking lot (if we drive separately), walk to our own lockers, gather the materials we need for our classes, meet up at my locker, and walk to our first class together. Today was no different.

"Hey babyyyy" I heard in my ear as someone snaked their arms around my waist. 

To no surprise, it was Lauren.

"Hey." I replied bitterly.

"What's wrong?" She asked playing dumb.

"Nothing. Look we need to talk so come over after school?" I asked.

"Oh. Okay sure." She replied nervously.

Jenna made her way towards me and I could see her take a deep breath before approaching my locker. 

"Hey Jenna!" Lauren enthusiastically yelled throwing her arms around Jenna.

"Hi." She spat not returning the hug.

"Wow did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed too?" Lauren joked.

Jenna didn't reply. 

"Look we're going to be late so if you'll excuse us we need to get going to class."  Jenna said signaling that she couldn't stand to be around Lauren any longer.

"Y-yeah." I followed.

"Oh um well can I at least get a kiss goodbye babe?" Lauren asked with a pout.

i reluctantly went to bend down and kiss her but Jenna linked her arm with mine and pulled me off towards class before I could.

"Thank God. You're my savior Jenna." I whispered with a giggle.

"There was no way I was going to let you get herpes from her nasty cheater mouth!" She replied with a laugh.

"This is why we're friends." I said throwing my arm around her shoulder. 

"Damn right! Best Frens." She responded  as we walked into our first class.


	13. Cheater Cheater Best Friend's Gonna Beat(her)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler invites Lauren over after school to talk to her about her cheating on him and to break up.

(Tyler's POV)

 It was finally the end of the day. I invited Lauren over after school so we could talk. What she probably didn't know was that I was going to break up with her. She needed to know that I knew about her cheating and that it just isn't something we can fix. I told Jenna that I was ending it today and she just hugged me tightly and told me that she'd be right down the road if I needed her. I thanked her before going to find Lauren so I could drive her and myself to my house. 

 

 _"Oooh what if she's in the janitors closet being fucked by Ryan right now? Wouldn't that just be peachy?!"_ **Blurry** cackled. 

"Leave me alone Blurry." 

Turns out that while I was searching for Lauren in the halls, she was already standing next to my car in the student parking area.

"There you are silly." She said kissing my cheek.

She made me want to vomit.

"Let's go." I simply replied, getting into the drivers side and starting the car.

\- Like 10 minutes later -

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk about baby?" 

We were sitting in my driveway in the parked car. 

"A lot of things." I began hesitantly.

"Okay..." 

I took a deep breath before speaking.

"You know what? I think maybe we should go upstairs and talk. It's not really a conversation I want to have in the car." I decide getting out of the car.

"Oooh okay I understand." Lauren says with a wink.

I wanted to throw up.

 _"You know she's probably going to go psycho and murder you and your entire family right?"_ **Blurry** started as I made my way upstairs.

_"On the other hand, that wouldn't be so bad I mean you'd be dead so it'd actually be good!"_

I ignored him best I could as I reached my bedroom door. 

"Listen Lauren I-" I began but was cut off by Lauren's lips on mine.

I pushed her away gently, trying not to vomit.

"I don't think you underst-" Again, she cut me off.

"Shhh baby. Just enjoy it." She whispered in my ear, trying to fumble with my jean button. 

"Stop!" I shouted, shoving her away from me.

She stumbled back, looking at me with a pang of fear in her eyes. 

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to shove you. I panicked."

"What is wrong with you Tyler!" She shouted at me. 

"I saw you at that party." 

She froze.

"What did you just say?" 

I took a deep breath.

"I said I saw you at that party last weekend. I saw you making out with Ryan Jacobs." My heart felt as if it had stopped beating.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She lied through the her teeth.

"Don't even bother playing dumb Lauren I saw you!" I raised my voice only slightly.

"Okay so maybe I had a little too much to drink and maybe I kissed someone else so what? I know that you fuck that dirty slut Jenna behind my back all the time!" 

My brows furrowed in confusion and anger.

"You **cheated** on me Lauren! Don't even try to bring Jenna into this. We're best friends and that's it! I've never so much as kissed her! Why would you lie about her like that?" I was shouting now.

"It's not a lie! I see the way she is around you. She's all over you like the stupid whore she is!" 

"Get out of my house now." I speak through my teeth. 

"What?" 

I clench my teeth harder.

"We're done Lauren I said get out of my house and don't you **ever** talk about my best friend like that again!" 

"Gladly." She said, shoving me against the wall before walking out of my room and outside.

I stood in my room processing what just happened for a good ten minutes before grabbing my phone and dialing Jenna's number. She picked up on the first ring.

"I'm on my way." She said before I could even open my mouth.

Im so lucky to have her in my life.


	14. "Good To See You Again, Baby Boy."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday night. Jenna is gone for the weekend and Tyler has no one to vent to. What ever will he do to relieve his stress? Perhaps attending another one of Brendon Urie's parties will help.

(Tyler's POV) 

 It's been about a week since I broke up with Lauren. She's given both Jenna and I death glares at school ever since but I try to ignore them. After all, it's her fault we split in the first place. To make things even worse, my parents decided that tonight of all nights, the night where I had a ton of homework to do, was going to be their monthly date night. This means that I'm in charge of babysitting my siblings while they are gone. How fun. The current time is 8pm. They promised that they would be back by no later than 7:30pm. 

"Tyler?" My eleven year old sister, Maddy, called as she tapped me on the shoulder.

"What Mads?" I asked in reply. 

"When are mom and dad coming home?" She asked for the third time. 

I let out a frustrated sigh.

"I don't know Madison. Why don't you go play with Jay (age 7) and Zack (age 15) in the den while you wait for them to come home?" 

She gave me a questioning look. 

"Will you set up TWISTER for us?" 

I sighed again.

"I'm trying to do homework. Zack knows how to set it up. Ask him." I replied with a slight snap in my tone. 

Maddy let out a huff and mumbled something under her breath before turning around and disappearing into the den. 

-

"Guys we're home!" My dad shouted as him and my mother walked through the front door. 

"Mommy!" Maddy shouted as she leaped into her arms. 

"Hi baby!" My mother replied. 

"Did you guys have fun?" My dad asked, as he placed his coat on the coat hanger. 

"Tons." I replied sarcastically.

That earned me an eye roll. 

"Can I go to bed now?" 

My mom rolled her eyes once again. 

"Yes you may go to bed now. Goodnight Tyler." 

I didn't even stay around long enough to reply. 

- 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I was fully awake. Moments before I had been so tired that I was barely able to keep my eyes open. Now, when it was okay for me to sleep, I couldn't. An hour and a half later and I was still wide awake. This was getting ridiculous. 

 _"Hey Tyler."_ **Blurry** snickered. 

I groaned into the pillows. 

"What do you want?" 

_"Wanna go on an adventure?"_

I snickered this time. 

"What the hell does that mean?" 

_"It means get your ass up and get dressed."_

"Why?" 

_"Because we are going to a party."_

-

I couldn't help but let my thoughts run wild as I drove towards the very same house that I was at only a week before. There was a bubble in my stomach and it was about ready to burst, both with excitement and fear. Fear because I had no idea what I was getting myself into and excitement because I secretly hoped that Josh would be there again. 

_"He's not going to be there. You're getting your hopes up for no reason Tyler."_

"Oh what do **you** know?" 

"I know more than you think I do." He replied wittily. 

_"I hope this car crashes and you die."_

_"_ Thanks,  **Blurry**." I said sarcastically.

\- Ten Minutes Later - 

I parked my car in the street a few houses down from Brendon's house.

My stomach churned with anxiety and hope. Anxiety because I'm still not used to being around a large group of people. Especially drunk and high people. Hope because I really _really_  wanted to see Josh again. I wanted to feel his intoxicated lips on mine, his calloused hands on my hips, and his soft, dyed locks in between my fingers. 

"Hey stranger." I jumped unexpectedly.

It was Josh.

"H-hey!" I replied trying not to sound too excited but failing completely.

"You gonna come inside? Or just sit in your car all night?" 

I quickly opened my door after Josh stepped aside and got out of the car. 

"Good to see you again, Baby Boy." He purred in my ear. 

I blushed lightly. 

"Y-you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have made this worse by editing it but whatever.


	15. We've Got One Thing In Common, It's This Tongue Of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh party hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow can I just say how HONORED and completely BLOWN AWAY I am because this was first published not too long ago and it's already has over 1000 views?! That's crazy!! Thank you guys so very much for reading and leaving comments and kudos and coming back to read the updates it really does mean a lot to me. I've tried to be artistic and creative in so many different ways all throughout my life but to be honest with you, this story and its postive reviews/feedback is the only thing I can say that I have created that I'm extremely proud of. I love you all so very much thank you for reading! 
> 
> A  
> L  
> S  
> O
> 
> *** Semi Smut (oral) and Drinking ***

(Tyler's POV) 

"You want a drink?" Josh asked in my ear, grabbing my hips from behind.

"Yeah!" I shouted in reply, leaning my head back on him so he could hear me.

He grabbed me by the hand and lead me to the kitchen where only a few people were located.

"Yo, Dun what's up my man?!" Some guy shouted, coming over to Josh and giving him a half hug.

"Nothin much Dawson. Is this a sick party or what dude?!" Josh replied with a smile.

"You and your boy toy want to join me or what?" Dawson asked, holding up a bottle of whiskey and some shot glasses.

Josh looked at me with a sly grin.

"Yeah, my _boy toy_ and I would  love to join you." 

\- Roughly an hour later - 

"W-wow that was some st-trong shit duuuuddee." Josh slurred at Dawson. 

"I k-now ri-ight." He slurred back.

We'd all been throwing shots back for about an hour now. All three of us were wasted off our asses.

"H-hey Ty-lerr." Josh slurred looking at me.

"W-whattt Jishwaaa?" I slurred back.

He erupted in a small fit of giggles before continuing.

"Whadaya say we t-take this up-pstairs again?" He half whispered half drooled in my ear.

I just nodded my head.

"O-only if y-ou carry me!" I hicupped, sticking my arms out. 

Josh smirked widely before sweeping me off my feet and taking off towards the stairs. I let out a small shriek as it took me by surprise and hurried to wrap my arms around and bury my face in his neck. Despite almost falling a few times due to our drunken state, we finally made it to an empty bedroom. It just so happened to be the same one from when Josh and I first met. 

"Want you." I mumbled as Josh slammed the door shut with his foot.

"Then what are you waiting for?" He breathed in my ear as he pinned my back against the door.

His hot breath sent shivers down my spine and blood right to my hardening member.

"T-touch me." I begged as he began planting open mouth kisses down my jaw and neck.

"Patience." He replied biting down on the soft skin in the crook of my neck.

I let out a loud moan.

"S-shit Josh ahhh." I groaned grabbing a fist full of his red hair as he continued to suck on my neck.

We somehow made our way to the bed soon after. Both Josh and I removed our shirts before he straddled my hips and continued giving me more hickeys until I was an absolute mess underneath him.

"G-gonna cum if you don't s-stop" I breathed out.

Josh let out a small chuckle.

"Gonna cum before I even touch you? Guess I'll have to slow down then huh baby boy?" 

I took my bottom lip inbetween my teeth before nodding a little bit. Josh leaned down and connected our lips in a needy manor. Our teeth clacked together a few times but it didn't seem to bother either one of us. As Josh slid his tongue in my mouth, I decided it be the perfect opportunity to give Josh's semi hard erection a squeeze. As I did so, he moaned out loudly.

"F-fuck do that again." He growled, thrusting into my hand. 

I obliged, and soon enough, Josh was making his way down my chest, past my navel and right to the waistband of my pants where my now fully hard erection was waiting to be set free. I took in a sharp breath. He looked up at me with eyes that asked permission. I nodded eagerly and Josh went to work unbuttoning and pulling down my jeans until they were pooled by my ankles. He did the same with my boxers. 

"Mmm so hard for me baby boy." He purred, gently kissing the head of my cock.

I bucked my hips up at the sudden touch.

"Be a good boy now, or I'll have to punish you." He growled, putting one of his arms over my hips to keep me from moving again. 

"S-sorry." I apologized, biting down on my lip again.

Josh took this time to lick a strip up the underside of my cock. I grabbed a fist full of the bedsheets and moaned.

"Y-yes just like that." I praised him as he hummed around my dick, now fully in his mouth. 

Josh continued sucking and bobbing around my cock until I hit my climax, shooting white hot spurts of cum down his throat.

He swallowed it all.

As I came down from my post orgasm bliss, I turned and looked at Josh who had stood up, and was smoking a joint by the window. 

"Your turn." I growled, walking over to him and dropping to my knees.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowwww okay so I suck at writing smutty stuff plus I'm just awkward and too lazy to write out scenes full length so... Yeah I'm sorry that it's been forever since I updated but I hope this Joshler smut is enough to make up for my lack of updating. As always, I love and appreciate every single one of you and I'm so glad you stuck around to see where this story takes us. ❤️❤️❤️


	16. For You Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler talk.

(Tyler's POV) 

"Shit." Josh panted, laying down next to me on the bed.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Josh spoke again.

"You know it's ironic." He began, turning his head to look at me.

"You've got a cross tattooed on your arm which I'm assuming represents your faith." He looked at me for confirmation. 

I nodded my head.

"But if people knew the things you do with your mouth," Josh chuckled.

"You'd have sinner written all over you." 

I blushed deeply.

"Only for you." I barely whispered.

Josh looked at me with furrowed brows, as if telling me that he didn't hear what I said.

"What did you say?" 

"Only for you." I repeated again, sitting up and straddling him in a non sexual way.

"I'm a sinner, For you only." I whispered, my breath ghosting over his face.

We just stared deeply into each other's eyes for a moment. Neither one of us speaking a word. Eventually, I decided to close the space between us and bring my lips down to Josh's, to meet in a soft, gentle way. Not rough and needy like usual. It took him a moment to process what I was doing but he kissed back shortly after. The kiss didn't last long though. Josh suddenly opened his eyes and shoved me off of him, sitting up on the bed and facing away from me. I laid on the bed with furrowed brows. Did I do something wrong? 

"J-Josh?" I finally spoke. 

He didn't respond.

"Josh d-did I do something wrong?" I asked getting closer to him but still keeping a distance between us.

He just faintly shook his head. I was about to get up and leave when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist. 

"You can't do that." He spoke gently.

I was confused. I couldn't leave?

"What, leave?" I asked, looking down at him.

"No, kiss me." He replied keeping his head down. 

I furrowed my brows for the hundredth time.

"What do you mean? We've kissed before  why can't I kiss you?"

"We've only made out, you've never kissed me." He said slightly louder, raising his head to meet my eyes.

I tried to speak but he cut me off.

"We don't know each other that well. For all you know I could be a psychopath or a murderer, yet you seem to always come looking for me. Why?"

I didn't get a chance to answer.

"When you kissed me just now, there was no sexual tension behind it. No sex driven hormones surging through your veins. You can't do that. Not with me." He finished, looking away again. 

"This is just a fling. I don't want a relationship. I don't want someone to be responsible for or someone holding me back or telling me what to do. I can't deal with it." 

I just looked at him, pondering my thoughts of what I was going to say to him in response.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quietly.

"I don't know what came over me I-I'm not looking for a relationship either I just got out of one. I didn't mean to imply that I was looking for more than what we have already. Which is nothing really." I began to babble. 

"Tyler." Josh said but I didn't hear.

"Tyler?" He said it again.

"TYLER!" He shouted, finally getting my attention. 

"Sorry." I apologized again. 

"I babbled again didn't I?" 

He nodded his head.

It was now awkwardly silent. Well, _mostly_ silent.

 _"Good going dipshit, you've ruined the only good thing you've got right now. Your only escape from your poor excuse of a life."_ **Blurry** spat in my mind.

I cringed. **Blurry** was usually never around when I was with Josh.

"So," I began to get Josh's attention.

"I'm gonna go home now that I've sobered up and made a fool of myself." I said, throwing my shirt back on and walking towards the door. 

"Wait." Josh says, standing up and walking towards me.

He stood right in front of me and slipped his hands into my jean pockets, squeezing my ass one last time before I leave. I rolled my eyes and kissed him on the cheek. 

"See ya around?" 

"See ya around."


	17. I'm Trying To Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler wakes up still a little hungover. Jenna makes an appearance.

(Tyler's POV) 

When I woke up for good the next morning at 9AM, my head was still pounding like a kick drum.

 _"Look who finally decided to wake up!" _**Blurry** shouted as loud as he could possibly manage.

I cringed and brought my hands up to the sides of my head, holding it. 

_"It's a shame really, I was hoping that when you fell asleep last night, you'd be down for good."_

"Shhh." I shushed him, laying back down and covering my head with my blanket. 

"I'm trying to sleep." 

My attempt to fall back asleep was short lived when someone started knocking on my front door.

"I GUESS I'LL GET IT!" I shouted loudly at my family after five minutes had past. (who weren't even home)

I let out a series of deep breaths as I made my way down the stairs and to the front door. I was about to yell at whoever dared to disturb my sleep. As I swung the door open, I came face to face with a crying Jenna. My face softened immediately.

"C'mere." I said softly, opening my arms for a hug. 

Her force practically knocked me over but I steadied myself by grabbing the door frame. I closed the front door and just wrapped my arms around her as she sobbed into my chest. 

"Shhh it's okay Jen, let it all out. You're okay." I comforted her, rubbing gentle circles on her back. 

"H-he broke up w-wwith me-e!" She sobbed into my chest, clutching my bunched up shirt in her hands. 

"Corey broke up with me." She said barely above a whisper, her voice cracking towards the end.

It broke my heart.

Corey was Jenna's long distance boyfriend of 5 almost 6 years. They met online the summer before 6th grade. He was 2 years older than us but Jenna never seemed to mind. 

"Rat bastard." I mumbled, resting my chin on her head. 

After like 25 minutes, Jenna reduced her sobs into quiet sniffles and then suppressed her crying all together. 

"Pizza and movie marathon?" I suggested, looking at her. 

She contemplated for a moment before replying. 

"Actually, I'm really tired and emotionally drained. Can we just nap and cuddle right now?" She asked, leaning against me. 

"Yeah, of course." I responded, grabbing her hand and leading us both to my bedroom. 

After taking her coat and shoes off, Jenna laid down on the bed next to me. She curled into my side, searching for warmth as I covered us both with the blanket. Considering the fact that we've been best friends since we were little, sleeping in the same bed was no big deal to either of us or our families.

"Thank you Ty." She mumbled sleepily closing her eyes. 

"Anything for you Jen." I replied, kissing her forehead gently. 

Jenna fell asleep immediately. I, however, was having trouble falling back asleep. My thoughts were clouded with a lot of things. But, there was one thing I just couldn't wrap my brain around. One question I couldn't find an answer to. 

Why was Josh so afraid of _kissing_ me? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo here's a filler update so you have something to read! I was reading back on this and noticed some things didn't add up so I fixed those errors and stuff so hopefully I don't make anymore of them. Please please please let me know if something in my writing doesn't make sense or add up so I can fix it asap! I tend to forget a lot of things and therefore usually end up repeating myself or something like that. Anyways, thanks as always for reading and commenting etc I love you guys so much!


	18. Please Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has a nightmare. You guys as readers get an insight as to why Josh is so afraid of Tyler getting attached to him and visa versa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thanks @Addict_with_A_band for suggesting this idea a few chapters ago. Your contribution is very much appreciated and I hope I do it justice! :) 
> 
> *** WARNING *** 
> 
> Prepare yourself for some angsty/sad shit. There's a very specific reason why Josh doesn't want Tyler to get attached to him and why he doesn't want to get attached to Tyler and why he doesn't want a relationship with him. 
> 
> It's super sad gore is involved please read at your own risk.
> 
> ~~~~ In bold equals flashbacks/dreams

(Josh's POV) 

**~~~~**

  _"Joooooosh." I heard my name in the distance._

_"Jooooosh, wake up!"_

_I shot my eyes open only to see her's staring into mine._

_"Good, you're awake!" She giggled, kissing my cheek._

_"D-Debby?" I furrowed my brows and reached my hand out, touching her face._

_"Hey baby." She rested her cheek into my hand, leaning into my touch._

_I was so confused. She couldn't be here. It was physically impossible!_

_"What're you doing here?" I asked, digging my palms into my eye sockets._

_"Whadaya mean silly? It's our 2 year anniversary! Where else would I be but with you?"_

_I just stared at the wall, trying to wrap my brain around what was happening._

_"C'mon!" She smiled, linking her fingers with mine and dragging me out of my bedroom and to the car._

_"I grabbed the picnic basket and the blanket. You remembered to pack napkins right?" I still couldn't believe this was real._

_"Babe?"_

_I snapped back to reality and just gave her a small nod, not knowing if I could trust my voice to get the words out._

_\- Some time later -_

_I blinked and suddenly I was sitting in the middle of a park. The picnic basket sat in the center of the blanket. I looked around and saw strangers, but no Debby._

_"Debby?" I whispered, as if raising my voice any louder would shatter the world._

_I called for her again but still no response. My heart began thumping like it was trying to jump out of my chest. I was having a panic attack._

_I fell back just as my breath start to leave my body. That's when I felt soft hands, cupping my face._

_"Hey, Joshie hey look at me baby." Her gentle voice echoed through my ears._

_"Breathe for me baby." She begged, looking into my eyes._

_My breathing finally got under control after about 3 minutes._

_"Good, see you're okay babe it's okay." She cooed, helping me sit up._

_I was speechless. How was this happening? Debby couldn't be here...  Could she?_

_"Hey, you okay?" She asked, resting her palm against my cheek and looking me in the eyes._

_I just stared at her for awhile. Suddenly, a surge of adrenaline shot through my veins and I shot forward, wrapping my arms around her for dear life. She was taken aback at first, but wrapped her arms around me just as tight._

_"P-please don't go." I whispered in her ear as tears began to fall._

_"I'm sorry Joshie I didn't think I was gone for that long. I just went to the bathroom. I'm sorry baby." She rocked us both gently back and forth._

_She hummed soothing tunes into my ear as we just sat in the center of that park. My breathing had finally returned to normal and I swear I could have lived in that moment for the rest of my life if God had let me. Everything was perfect. Until,  the sun filled sky suddenly began to turn to gray. Clouds whirrled overhead and the rain began pouring down. Thunder and lightning creeping up on us not long after. Debby's gentle humming stopped, and my heart began to race yet again._

_"D-Debby we need to get out of here." I said, grabbing her hand and standing up._

_I tried to get her to stand up and come with me but she wouldn't move.  
_

_"Debby!" I shouted over the storm, practically crushing her hand in mine._

_"Let go Josh." She whispered._

_Everything fell silent except for her voice._

_"W-what? No!"_

_"Let go Josh." She repeated a little louder._

_I couldn't believe my ears._

_"No! I won't do it! I won't lose you again!" I sobbed._

_"Let go Josh." The voice was distant now._

_I dropped down to my knees, letting go of Debby's hand. Sirens were all I could hear._

_"Let go Josh." It was the voice of my mother._

_I gasped loudly as a gust of wind found its way back into my lungs. I was no longer in a park. I was in my car. Or rather what was left of it._

_"Come on Josh you have to let go now." She repeated, firemen surrounding her._

_I furrowed my brows. What were they talking about? Let go of what? That's when I felt someone touching my right hand. I fought through the shooting pain as I turned my neck to see who was touching me. That's when I saw her. She was laying in the passenger seat, eyes open and staring into the abyss, blood covering her face._

_"D-Debby?" I choked._

_"C'mon son let go." One of the firemen said._

_What did he mean? Why did everyone keep saying that?!_

_I then realized what they were saying. My fingers were interlaced with Debby's. Her hand had gone cold and fingers stiff, but I was clutching onto her for dear life._

_"It's time to let go son." The firemen said, grabbing at my hand, attempting to pry my finger off of Debby's hand._

_"N-no."_

_"NO!" I screamed with tears streaming violently down my face._

_"She's gone Josh. Let her go." My mother was now next to the firemen, attempting to help him release my grip on Debby's hand._

_"N-no ple-ease." I whispered as my limbs went numb._

_My body was beginning to shut down. I was too weak to hold on anymore. I stopped fighting them._

_"D-Debby please co-ome b-back -please."_

_**~~~~** _

I shot out of my bed and landed on the floor, my head smacking the ground in the process. I could barely catch my breath. 

"Fuck." I breathed, sitting up and rubbing my head where it hit the floor.

Another nightmare. The third one this week as a matter of fact. The one I just had was definitely the worst of them all though. 

I finally gathered the strength in my legs to be able to stand up and walked to my dresser. I opened the very top drawer and grabbed the small baggie full of pills. I swallowed two with some leftover whiskey I had sitting on top of the dresser and sat back down on the edge of the bed.

I could tell it was going to be another long, sleepless night...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay so I didn't really know how to end this chapter so I guess that's how I'll leave it for now. Don't worry, if you're confused about who Debby is to Josh and what happened etc you'll find out later on in the story. I'm sorry if that was like "too sad" for anyone but hey my story my rules right? Anyways, I've noticed a few new readers have come along recently so hi guys, thanks for reading this! 
> 
> Side note, how do you guys like Josh's POV? Would you like to see chapters in his POV more often? Or do you prefer Tyler's POV? Or would you guys like an equal amount of both? Let me know!


	19. Won't You Go To Someone Else's Head?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler fights his demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** WARNING *** 
> 
> Mentions of self harm, not very graphic  
> Mild violence (punching a wall basically)  
> A lot of mental instability (Blurry is real nasty in this chapter so Tyler is gonna be fighting with his deep dark thoughts a lot) 
> 
> You
> 
> Have
> 
> Been
> 
> Warned

(Tyler's POV) 

It was around 9AM on a Thursday when it happened. I started having an anxiety attack in the middle of my English class and had to isolate myself in the boys locker room in attempts to regain control. 

 _"God you're such a little faggot! Pussyboy you just can't stand it when all eyes aren't on you can you?"_ **Blurry** spat violently. 

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungsl.

I sobbed as I slid down the wall to the floor. **Blurry** has always been bad but never _this_ bad.

"Why won't you go to someone else's head?" I sobbed aloud.

 _"Because,"_ He chuckled.

_"Messing with you is too much fun to stop! If I weren't crawling around that thick skull of yours, who would be around to remind you how worthless you are?"_

I slammed the back of my head against the brick wall a few times, hoping that if I could make Blurry shut up, everything would stop. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Tears continued streaming down my face as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Excuse me!" A gruff voice called out making my body stiffen and my breathing stop. 

"I have gotten several noise complaints from teachers and students. Something about loud screaming coming from the gymnasium locker room." The voice continued talking.

"So, whoever you are, please just come out from wherever you are and follow me, I'll let you make a phone call and have someone escort you out of my building." 

I took a deep breath before shakily standing up and unlocking the stall door. 

"Mr Joseph?." Principal Gillan looked concerned as I made my way towards him.

"You're supposed to be in English 101 right now. What are you doing in the locker room?" He asked, voice stern as ever. 

I kept my head down and refused to make eye contact as I squeaked out a reply.

"I-I was just grabbing s-something." I choked out, tears brimming my already bloodshot eyes.

He didn't seem to believe me but didn't push any further. I continued to keep my head down as he held the door open for me to walk out of. When I made my way out of the gymnasium and into the hallway, I saw several students were lingering around, and staring at me. 

"Great." I thought to myself.

 _"You've really done it now."_ **Blurry** scoffed, making the suffocating feeling in my throat even stronger.

Most of the students were strangers but I recognized a few with the quick glance I gave. Jenna had been there. She looked beyond worried as I walked towards the office. I'll have to apologize to her later. 

"Son." The principal repeated, getting my attention. 

I looked at him questioningly. 

"I asked if you knew your mother's phone number." 

"244-8973" I mumbled softly with eyes glued to the floor.

\- Ten minutes later -

Some time passed before my mother's face appeared in front of me.

"Tyler, honey." She began. 

"Is everything okay? Why did the school call me?" She asked.

"I'm fine. Just had a bit of anxiety." I whispered a reply.

She let out a breath I didn't realize she had been holding and slightly rolled her eyes. 

"When the school called me to come and get you I assumed the worst!" 

"Let's just go, I'll have Zack drive your car home after school." She said, grabbing my arm and escorting me out of the office. 

"Where are your keys?" She asked digging around in my backpack for them. 

"Side pocket." I answered.

She finally found them and planted her car keys into my hands.

"I've got to go give these to your brother. Go ahead and go to the car I'll be there in a few minutes." 

I quickly walked out of the double doors and got inside my mother's Buick. There was nothing like having a breakdown at school and knowing that people were watching you and constantly judging you! 

 _"You know that everyone thinks you're fucking nuts right?"_ **Blurry** nagged on. 

I sighed deeply, rubbing my temples with the palms of my hands.

_"Not to mention you're going to fail from missing the rest of today's lessons. But you're already a failure in every other aspect of your life, so why not add high school to that list."_

"Please, please make him go away." I bowed my head and prayed to God. 

 **Blurry** cackled loudly.

_"Do you seriously think that some big imaginary man in the sky has the power to get rid of me? You're pathetic Tyler."_

I squeezed my eyes shut and dug my nails into my forearm, praying louder in attempt to silence my demons.

"Make him go away." I repeated in a hushed prayer, digging my nails deeper into my skin until spots of blood began to surface. 

"Make him stop." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what this is guys honestly I'm just going to apologize right now for making you read that chapter. I've edited this chapter several times but I think I just make it worse each time so. Anyways, thanks for reading this shitty chapter.


	20. Lie, Lie, Liar.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler lies. (No surprise) And some drama goes down.

(Tyler's POV) 

"Tyler, it's time to get up or you'll be late for school." 

I groaned and burrowed myself deeper into the heap of blankets that occupied my bed.

"C'mon you have to get up." My mother voiced, attempting to pry my comforter off of my body.

"You've stayed home for two full days now. Four if you count the weekend. You can't miss anymore school." She nagged, ripping my blankets off the bed.

"C'mon." She urged.

"Don't you have a basketball game tonight? You know coach Johnson will bench you if you're absent or late for class." 

"No, there's no game tonight." I lied, still partially in a sleep like state. 

 _"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to lie to your mother? That's a **sin** Tyler." _**Blurry's** voice rang through my mind.

 After that night at the party where I found out that Lauren had been cheating on me with Ryan Jacobs, I took it upon myself to quit the team so I wasn't tempted to get myself into any trouble. But,  I had yet to tell my parents considering the fact that a basketball scholarship was supposed to be my way into college. If they ever found out that I was giving up on that, I'd surly be in trouble. 

"Why not? I thought there was a game on the first and last Tuesday of every month? Today is the last Tuesday in September." I was finally awake and sitting up by the time she finished interrogating me. 

"Coach decided to give us this Tuesday off since we worked so hard last game." The lies just kept coming out.

 _"There you go again, sinning left and right! When will the madness stop?!"_ **Blurry** manically laughed, making my head spin.

"Oh, alrighty then." She was suspicious, but chose not to pry for now.

"Well, still get ready for a normal school day. And don't let me get another phone call to come pick you up because of noise complaints and 'anxiety attacks' okay?" I descreetly rolled my eyes and gave her a small nod as I began getting ready. 

\- Three Hours Later - 

"So she seriously told you not to let her get another phone call because of 'noise complaints and anxiety attacks'?" Jenna asked in disbelief as I told her of this mornings events. 

I nodded. 

"Wow." She said shaking her head and crossing her arms to her chest.

"That's messed up."

I once again nodded.

"Yeah. Speaking of last week, I really am sorry if I like scared you or whatever. It was just a bad day and I'm totally fine now." 

 _"Lie, lie, liar."_ **Blurry** taunted quietly.

Jenna wrapped her arms around my waist. 

"I'm just glad you're okay. Those few days without you were hell!" She chuckled, burying her face into my chest. 

I hugged her back and rested my chin on top of her head. 

"Sorry for leaving you." I mumbled softly.

"Well if it isn't Tyler 'cheating bastard' Joseph. Oh and of course you're with your side chick Jenna 'boyfriend stealer' Black." An all too familiar voice snarled, as she walked up to us.

Jenna and I both looked over to see none other than Lauren glaring at us. 

"Just ignore her Jen." I started, but Jenna already opened her mouth. 

"The only cheating bitch here is you. And I didn't 'steal' your boyfriend okay? He dumped your ass because you cheated on him with Ryan'Ive screwed every member of the cheer leading squad' Jacobs and I was there to pick up the pieces. That's what best friends do." Jenna spat back angrily. 

"J-" I attempted to intervene but she cut me off. 

"No, don't you Jenna me. She has no right treating you or I how she does and quite frankly you should be pissed about it too." 

My eyes widened in surprise. I knew Jenna could be angry about some things but I've never seen her this mad

"Lauren!" one of Lauren's friends called out, getting her attention. 

They waved her over. 

"Whatever. I'll deal with you later." She snarled.

"Watch your back, Black." 

And with that, Lauren walked away. 

"Wow." I breathed out in disbelief.

"What a bitch. I can't believe I ever dated her." I shuddered in disgust.

"Or that my parents still think we're together."

"Wait what?!" Jenna half shouted, capturing the attention of a few people nearby. 

I pulled her off to the side of the hall by the water fountains before speaking again.

"I can't tell them that I caught her cheating on me because they can't know that I went to that stupid party that night!" 

Jenna rolled her eyes. 

"That's why you don't tell them that part!" She began.

I looked at her confused.

"You tell them that you caught her in the library or something. Or some other place where you'd totally be under no special circumstances." I giggled slightly making her brows furrow.

"You sound like a pro at this." 

She shrugged her shoulders with a smirk.

"I may have told a few white lies in my lifetime." Jenna chuckled, pink dusting her cheeks. 

"Ooooooh watch out everyone! We've got a badass over here!" I playfully mocked her. 

She just playfully rolled her eyes in response. 

"C'mon loser, we're going to be late for gym class." 


	21. Jenna's Lucky Glove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna asks Tyler for a favor. He obliges. Tyler ends up sneaking into the busy school gymnasium to catch a little bit of the basketball game that is going on. Brendon Urie makes an appearance. Tyler smokes and buys some weed. Something unexpected happens to Tyler on the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** WARNING *** 
> 
> Mild drug use (weed)  
> Semi sexual content (implied I guess?)  
> Maybe some other triggering stuff??
> 
>  
> 
> I'm gonna let everyone know I know 0 zip nada nothing about weed or how much it costs or how much is sold at a time or none of that so if something is wrong or inaccurate, don't mind it b/c I don't know my shit lmao.

(Tyler's POV)

After school, I went home and took a short nap. When I woke up, it was around 6:30pm. 

 _"Lazy piece of shit. Who the fuck sleeps in the middle of the evening? Why can't you just be normal for a day Tyler?"_ **Blurry** spat.

Before I could really let **Blurry's** words get to me, my phone rang. 

"Hey." I greeted Jenna.

"Hey! I know you're already home and stuff but could you possibly do me a favor?" She asked nervously. 

"Does it involve driving anywhere because Zack 'borrowed' my car while I was asleep so I don't really have anything to drive." I responded.

"Oh, okay nevermind it's fine sorry to bot-" She began to hang up but I cut her off.

"I mean if you need me to go somewhere close to my house I can just walk?" I offered, wanting to be of any help I could. 

"I just need you to come up to the high school. With my lucky glove that I think I left at your house last time I was over. I need it for softball practice that starts in 15 minutes! You know I won't be able to do my best without it! She practically begged. 

"I think I see it." I said, getting off of my bed and walking over to my semi cluttered closet. 

"Found it." I stated as I spotted the worn down piece of leather underneath some loose articles of clothing.

"Thank goodness I thought I lost it!" Jenna giggled from the other end of the line. 

"Alright I'm on my way to the school." 

"Thank you so much Tyler I'll be waiting!" 

\- Time Skip -

A usual eight minute drive was about 12 minutes on foot. Nonetheless, I made it in time to give Jenna her lucky glove before her softball practice started. 

"Thank you so much Tyler! You're god sent I swear." Jenna hugged me tightly as I handed her the glove. 

I chuckled lightly, wrapping my arms around her. 

"No problem I'm just glad I was able to get here in time!" 

Seconds later, Jenna was called back over to her practice so I took that as a sign that it was time to leave and head back home. As I passed by the gym, I noticed that loud cheers were erupting from it. It took me a minute before remembering that there was a basketball game tonight. I decided that I didn't quite want to go back home yet so, I slipped into the gymnasium doors and stood silently beside the bleachers. 

"GO BABE GO WOOOO SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS!" An oh too familiar and annoying voice rung in my ears. 

Lauren. 

I tried to ignore her shouting and stay focused on the game but it was quite difficult. It became even more impossible when Ryan slam dunked and then proceeded to run to the other side of the court only to secretly grope Lauren's ass as he stuck his tongue down her throat. 

"Gross." I thought to myself, mentally and almost physically gagging. 

I began to recognize that this was indeed a bad idea and turned around to leave. Unfortunately for me, the doors were blocked by tons of people on the side I came in to. I glanced around to see if the other door was less crowded. It was. Not wanting to be stared at for going in front of the bleachers, I opted for going behind them. Halfway to the other door, I accidentally ran into someone. 

"Oh sh- sorry I-" I froze. 

I had accidentally run into Brendon Urie. 

"S'cool dude don't worry bout it." He seemed extra relaxed.

As I gave the air a whiff and glanced at his hand, it all began to make sense. A joint laid resting between his fingers. The aroma crawling into my nostrils made me crave that fantastic high. I didn't realize I had been staring until Brendon spoke again. 

"You want some dude?" I blinked. 

"Dude I think he's already stoned." Another guy whom I didn't recognize chuckled. 

I finally found myself able to speak. 

"Y-yeah sure." I decided, standing with the rest of Brendon's friend group. 

\- Small Time Skip - 

"D-dddude no way!" Brendon's friend Dallon laughed pushing Brendon off of him. 

We had all been sitting under the bleachers, passing joints around while the basketball game continued. I wasn't going to lie, it had been the most fun I have had since the last time I saw Josh. 

Josh.

I missed him. 

"Do anyone of you gu-uys want some to take home? Brendon asked, pulling out a large baggie of weed. 

I thought for a moment as everyone else gave their obvious answers of yes. 

"I-I'll take some too." 

Brendon chuckled at me before sticking his hand out. 

"Pay up bro." 

I pulled the required amount out of my wallet before he handed me a smaller baggie filled with the illegal substance. 

"Tha-nks man." I semi slurred before getting up and walking out of the gym. 

I immediantly regretted walking to the high school when I exited the gymnasium and noticed the cold breeze that was blowing. I shivered a little and started to look around in confusing. I forgot which way was home.

"S-shit where do I even live bro?" I asked myself as I stood on the sidewalk. 

I took a look around at my surroundings and couldn't recognize a single thing. 

"Need a ride?" I turned around lazily squinting at the blur of a person who was sitting on a motorcycle. 

It wasn't until I rubbed my eyes and stepped a little closer that I realized who it was. 

"J-Josh?" I hiccuped, as he came closer.

"That's right baby boy." He purred in my ear. 

"Hop on." He smirked at me.

I giggled before hopping onto the motorbike and wrapping my arms tightly around Josh's perfect abdomen. 

"Hang on tight baby." He said with a wink, starting up the bike and once again driving it down the road. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Josh and Tyler aren't in this together enough. Sorry I'll try to make more chapters with them together considering this Fic is Joshler and all. I just don't want to rush anything along considering I really like the story idea and don't want to mess it up. Anyways, thanks to those of you who have stuck around to read this update. I appreciate it greatly.


	22. If We're Gonna Do Anything, We Might As Well Just Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler goes home with Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** WARNING *** 
> 
> (Poorly written)  
> Smut  
> Smut  
> Smutty  
> Smut  
> Smut  
> & Weed

(Josh's POV) 

I was driving home from a friends house when I saw him. He was standing on the sidewalk and was clearly intoxicated of sorts considering the fact that he was stumbling all over the place and looked as if he had no idea where he was going. My brain told me to keep driving but my stupid heart convinced me otherwise.

"Need a ride?" I asked after pulling over and turning the bike off. 

Tyler looked at me with squinted eyes and took a few steps closer. 

"J-Josh?" He asked.

"That's right baby boy." I purred in his ear. 

"Hop on." I smirked at him.

He let out a giggle before hopping onto the motorbike and wrapping his long arms around my torso. 

"Hang on tight baby." I winked at him as I started the bike back up. 

\- Small Time Skip - 

I had no idea where Tyler lived. Even if I did, I sure as hell wasn't going to knock on his front door and have his parents answer only to see their stoned kid hanging out with a piece of shit like me. So, I opted for the better option which was to take him back to my place. The idea of him knowing where I lived made me nervous because I didn't like anyone having the capability of knowing where I was or how to contact me. But then I remembered that he was so doped up he'd probably not even pay attention to his surroundings anyways. That made me feel better in the slightest. Before long, I was pulling into the parking lot of my apartment complex and practically dragging Tyler inside. 

"J-Joshieeee." He whined, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Yes Tyler?" I replied, looking down at him. 

He hiccuped a little before answering.

"Missed you." He mumbled into my chest, pulling me impossibly closer.

I let out a chuckle.

"I'm sure you did baby boy."  I whispered into his ear, dragging my fingertips over the ridges of his spine underneath his  shirt. 

He shuddered at my touch. 

Suddenly, I felt Tyler's teeth graze over my neck.

"W-what are you doing?" I mentally slapped myself for the stutter. 

"Whatzit look like?" He giggled, gently pushing me down on the bed. 

Now usually I wouldn't think twice about Tyler being sexual towards me. Afterall, we've made out and done oral before. But, I guess considering I was pretty sober this time, I felt the need to think for him. Tyler wasted no time attaching his lips to mine and slipping his tongue inside of my mouth as he straddled me. I groaned lightly as he began grinding his hips down onto mine. 

"F-fuck Ty." I panted, grabbing his hips.

He suddenly stopped and I whined under my breath from the loss of friction. Before I could question him, he bowed his head down and whispered into my ear. 

"Fuck me." 

I was painfully hard at this point. 

"Are you sure?" I asked. 

He took one of my hands off of his hips and placed it on the large bulge in his jeans. 

"Does that answer your question?" He replied with a chuckle. 

I swallowed hard. 

"Clothes off, legs spread." I instructed, gently pushing Tyler off of me and walking over to my dresser where I kept my condoms and lube. 

He bit his lip seductively and began to remove his clothing. I shed myself of all my clothes except for my boxers which hung low on my hips. 

"M'gonna prep you." I stated, placing myself between Tyler's spread legs and squirting lube onto my first two fingers. 

He moaned loudly as I started to insert the first finger. 

"More." He practically begged. 

I obliged and inserted the second finger, stretching and scissoring him until he was ready for more.

"You ready for my cock baby boy?" I asked, removing my boxers, rolling a condom onto my length and covering it with lube. 

He nodded rapidly. 

"Use your words." I demanded, biting down on the shell of his ear as I hovered over him. 

"Ah mhmmm please p-put your big cock inside of me." He choked out as I squeezed his leaking member. 

I chuckled and licked my lips. 

"Your wish is my command." I replied, aligning myself with his hole and slowly sinking into him. 

His features showed a mixture of pain and pleasure. As soon as I was fully inside, I gave him a moment to adjust. 

"F-fuck Josh m-oove." 

I began to move in and out at a semi quick pace making Tyler squirm underneath me. His features soon turned into full pleasure as I hit that special spot inside of him. 

"F-FUCK RIGHT THERE!" He screamed. 

I pounded into him, hitting that spot repeatedly for a few minutes until he was about to cum. 

"G-gonna cum Josh." He whined.

I reached for his dick and squeezed it, cutting him off from his orgasm. 

"Not until I say." I instructed, pulling out of him for a moment. 

He whined audibly from the loss of contact. 

"Ride me." I demanded.

Tyler obeyed and straddled me, lining my cock up with his tight hole before sinking down and moaning out like a pornstar. 

"Mmmmhm fuck yes baby boy just like that." I praised him, tightening my grip on his hips. 

"Gonna cum soon." I stated. 

That made Tyler bounce on my dick harder, definitely helping me towards my orgasm. 

"You wanna cum baby boy?" I asked him.

He bit his lip and threw his head back.

"Y-yes please. Let me cum." He begged.

I took one of my hands off of Tyler's hips and wrapped it around his leaking cock, jerking in time with his thrusts. 

Moments later we were both moaning and panting messes as I came deep inside the condom inside of Tyler and he released all over my hand and his chest. 

"Shit." I breathed out as Tyler got off of me and collapsed on the bed next to me. 

I bent over the side of the bed and picked up a random shirt from the floor. After wiping my hand off, I tossed it in Tyler's direction so he could clean himself up. When I turned to throw the garment of clothing at him, he was passed out cold, tiny snores coming out of his slightly ajar mouth. 

"Tyler." I said in a monotone voice, attempting to wake him up.

No response. 

I tried a few more times before eventually giving up. He was out like a light. Looking at the sticky mess on his chest, I decided to just quickly wipe it away with the clothing item I picked up off the floor. After tossing said clothing item somewhere across the room, I turned to my bedside table and lit up a pre rolled joint. I took a few puffs from it before I felt the bed stir. Tyler was now sitting up slightly eyes barely open. He made grabbie hands at the joint in my hand and I gave a small eye roll before passing it to him. We stayed like that until the joint was gone.

"G'night Joshie." Tyler mumbled, laying his head on my shoulder and draping his arm over my lap, nuzzling into my side. 

Looking down at him I sighed. 

"G'night Ty." 

I tried so hard to fall asleep that night. I really did. But, my mind kept me awake with intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of happiness, tranquility, and a lack of defense. Thoughts of dare I say, _Love_? This boy was breaking my walls down brick by brick. And there was nothing I could do to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO JOSHLER SMUT YASSSS 
> 
> Poorly written but eh I'm a smol child (I'm actually 16 but I mean *shrugs*) 
> 
> ANYWAYS 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading you guys! I sincerely appreciate every single one of you and your comments make me smile so much! Keep em coming! :)


	23. Oh Fuck.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler wakes up at Josh's place.

(Tyler's POV) 

I woke up the next morning in unfamiliar surroundings. I began to panic until I saw a sleeping Josh next to me. God he looked so pretty. 

 _"Um Earth to Tyler you fucking dipshit Josh already made it clear that you were just a friendly fuck and nothing more so why bother thinking nice things about him? You're just his dirty little slut."_ **Blurry** spat, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Right." I muttered to myself, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. 

I swung my leg over the side of the bed to stand up but quickly paused my actions as I realized that I wasn't wearing pants. I flung the sheets off of me only to see nothing covering my body. I was completely naked in Josh's bed. 

"Shit." I whispered, trying to remember what exactly had happened last night. 

I pieced together some things that had come back to me after seeing the dark marks that Josh had left on my thighs, and feeling the soreness in my ass. Other things were still a bit fuzzy though. How did I even end up here? When did Josh and I meet up? I needed answers and I needed them now. 

"Josh." I shook him in attempts to wake him.

"Hmm?" Josh stirred in his sleep.

"Did we have sex last night?" I asked, even though I practically already knew the answer.

No response.

I let out a sigh and tried again and again until he finally opened his eyes. 

"Fuck what do you want?" He grumbled, sitting up to look me in the face.

"I need you to tell me what happened last night." I demanded with worry in my voice. 

"You don't remember?" He asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"I remember most things. Just not how I got here or when we even crossed paths." I replied.

Josh reached over on the nightstand and lit a cigarette before speaking.

"I was driving back home from a buddies house when I saw you." He began. 

\- Skipping the recap of last chapter - 

"And then we fucked." He finished, smothering his cigarette bud out on the ashtray on the bedside table. 

I sat in silence as I began to regain the information I had lost from the previous night. 

"Oh. Right." Was all I managed to get out. 

Josh got out of bed and began getting dressed. 

"Uh look." He began, throwing a shirt over his head. 

"Not to be rude or whatever but I got places to go to today so if you could like get dressed and go home that'd be great." He said, hinting that I needed to leave. 

"Oh, okay." I replied with a hint of sadness, slipping on my boxers and searching for my pants. 

\- Five minute skip - 

I was all dressed and ready to leave when Josh spoke. 

"Hey, do you know your way back home from here?" He asked. 

I took a peek outside through the curtained window and sheepishly shook my head, looking at the ground. 

Josh sighed. 

"I'll give you a ride to your school and you'll have to find your own way home from there." He said grabbing car keys. 

"Okay thanks." 

And with that, Josh started up his motorcycle and threw a helmet at me. 


	24. Momma, I'm In Love With A Criminal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler goes home after spending the night at Josh's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** WARNING *** 
> 
> Weed use  
> Deep thoughts in the shower  
> Masturbation

(Tyler's POV)

Josh pulled into the school's parking lot about fifteen minutes later. After hopping off the bike, I placed the helmet into the trunk compartment.

"Thanks for the ride." I mumbled, awkwardly standing on the very sidewalk he had picked me up from the previous night.

Josh gave a slight nod of acknowledgement in response.

"I'll see you around, Ty."

I gave him a two finger salute as he began to drive off. His bright red curls blown back by the wind reminded me of raging flames.

"God I wish he would wear a helmet." I thought to myself, trying to shake the image of Josh's head smeared onto the pavement out of my mind.

I slowly made my way home once Josh was out of sight.

\- Ten Minutes Later - 

I made it to my house in record time and saw that the garage door was open. My dad must've been working on his truck. I decided to use the door that was attached to the house versus the front door since it was more convenient. My attempt to sneak upstairs to my room failed when I heard my name from behind me. 

"Nice of you to come home, Tyler." My father remarked, drying his hands off in the kitchen. 

"Where were you?" He asked, crossing his arms.

I wiped my sweaty palms onto my jeans and swallowed hard.

_"Uh oh! Looks like someone's in some deep trouble. What did I tell you Tyler? You're worthless! You can't even sneak out without being caught."_

"Uh." I began, searching for an answer. 

"I was at Jenna's?" It came out more of a question. 

"Nope. Try again." He replied, sitting down at the kitchen table and gesturing towards the empty seat across from him for me to sit in. 

I reluctantly walked over to the table and sat down.

"Your mother is over at her house right now and has been since-" He checked his watch. 

"-2:30 this afternoon. She's helping Ms Black bake food for her softball banquet this evening. Which we will all be attending." His gruff voice stated. 

I had forgotten about Jenna's softball banquet. 

"Of course." I replied, looking down at my hands and playing with them.

Uncomfortable silence filled the room. I took that as a sign that I was free to go. So, I began to stand up but was quickly interrupted.

"Where do you think you're going?" My father asked. 

"To my room?" I replied with the same tone of voice. 

"You still haven't answered my question. Where have you been Tyler?" 

I looked at him and scoffed. 

"I'm seventeen years old you don't need to know where I am and what I'm doing all the time. " I snapped at him. 

His eyes widened. He was taken aback by my sudden change of mood. 

"Excuse me young man?" 

"You heard me!" 

I turned around and went to my room before he could respond. Shutting the door behind me, I practically threw myself on my bed and stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before rummaging around in the pocket of my jacket. Moments later I found what I was looking for. The bag of weed I bought. 

 _"You know that doesn't help you out any. It doesn't get rid of me and it sure as hell doesn't make your life matter. You're still an insignificant little fag."_ **Blurry's** voice rang in my ears. 

I couldn't even bother to respond to him. Wasting no time, I cracked the window in my bathroom and locked myself in there. I rolled a few joints from materials I had bought from Brendon and lit one before bringing it to my lips and inhaling deeply. 

"God I missed this." I sighed, blowing the smoke out the window so my dad and siblings hopefully wouldn't smell it from downstairs. 

After finishing that, I realized that I could use a shower. So, I stripped down and hopped into the bathtub, turning the water on and letting the hot droplets hit my back. My thoughts wandered about, swirling around my mind like a hurricane.  I looked down at my hickey covered thighs and bruised hips, causing memories of last night to come back to me. Josh's lips on mine, his calloused fingertips trailing up and down my spine sending chills through my body. His cock inside of me. My body responded to the memories of the previous night. I was hard again just thinking about Josh. 

"Fuck." I shuddered as I found myself stroking my fully hard member. 

I continued at a slow pace. Lazily fucking my fist as I thought about Josh. God I just wanted to feel his lips against my skin again. My pace quickened as I felt my climax approaching. I came moaning Josh's name that day. 

\- Later that night - 

It was 3am and my thoughts kept me away from sleep yet again. This time though, they weren't the normal, depressing thoughts. They were different. I couldn't quite put a word to how I was feeling, all I knew is that I couldn't stop thinking about Josh. Not just about how he worshipped my body, but about other things too. Like how his smile is the brightest and most captivating one I've ever seen, or how his hair is always soft despite it looking disheveled all the time. The thought that I composed next was one that shook my bones cold. I couldn't stop thinking about how Josh's place felt like home. I searched my brain for what felt like hours, trying to give a name to the way I was feeling. It took awhile but once I was finally able to put a name to the emotion I was feeling, my heart felt like it could burst out of my chest at any minute. 

"Shit." I muttered to myself.

I was falling in love with Josh... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been forever guys! Did you think I was dead? Nope just started school! Same thing though right? ANYWAYS I didn't know how to end this chapter so why not shower masturbation amiright? Lmao ANYWAYS Pt 2 I'm trying my best to capture what I really want you guys as readers to feel from this story but sometimes I feel like I don't quite reach when writing these updates. I'm sorry for that. Also, I'm sorry for all these filler chapters I know I need to have more chapters with Josh and Tyler together and I need more chapters that relate to the main aspects of the storyline and not just little like side areas that are put in these filler chapters. Trust me I'm working on it I promise! Thanks to those of you who have stuck around long enough to read this update. I appreciate it greatly!


	25. Netflix Marathon and Chill?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler goes over to Jenna's house. They watch Netflix and Tyler vents. Jenna worries about Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't yell at me for leaving this chapter on a cliffhanger! I wanted to write a chapter in Jenna's POV so the next update (which is currently being written) will be in her POV (in the beginning anyways) and will finish off her and Tyler's conversation so just be patient!

(Tyler's POV) 

After last night, I came to the conclusion that too many things were on my mind and I needed to vent. I couldn't talk to my parents because they can't know of the sins I've committed. My siblings are too young to understand and Josh sure as hell can't ever find out that I'm falling for him. He'd bolt for sure. That left Jenna. Some quality best friend time was needed anyways. 

 _"Why even bother telling her the sins you've committed? She's just going to judge you and tell everyone she knows. DON'T DO THIS TYLER!"_ **Blurry** screamed as I pressed the dial button on Jenna's name _._

"Hey!" She picked up right away. 

"Hey, you've got some time to talk?" I asked, biting on my nail nervously. 

What if she really did hate me after I tell her about what I've done?

"Totally! You wanna come over to mine? I have popcorn and a movie marathon waiting to be had." She sang. 

I smiled lightly. 

"I'll be over in 10." 

\- Time skip - 

I walked up to Jenna's door and I didn't even get a chance to knock before the door swung open revealing a casual but excited looking Jenna. 

"Hi! Come on in!" She smiled from ear to ear, moving aside so I could come in. 

Taking in my surroundings I noticed that nothing had changed. Her house still had that cozy, warm feeling that it's had since we became friends all those years ago. 

"I have the TV hooked up in the basement and the last bag of popcorn is popping as we speak so if you want to go set your stuff down and browse through Netflix be my guest!" I gave her a small smile and nodded, making my way down the basement stairs.

After setting my backpack down, I plugged my cell in and sent my mom a quick text.

"Staying the night at Jenna's. Don't expect me back home until afternoon tomorrow."

She texted back a few minutes later with a simple "Okay, have fun". 

Jenna walked downstairs with a big bowl of popcorn and a 6-pack of redbull seconds later. 

"You know me too well Jenna Black." I smiled, grabbing the redbull and taking one out. 

"Indeed I do Tyler Joseph." She smiled back, plopping down on the beanbag next to me and setting the bowl down between us. 

We decided to watch "The Fault In Our Stars."

"I'm totally going to cry like a baby just forewarning you." Jenna giggled half serious. 

- 

By the end as promised, Jenna was practically sobbing. I held her in my lap and rubbed gentle circles on her back until she calmed down. 

"S-sorry." She apologized, wiping the wetness under her eyes. 

"I told you I'd be a mess by the end of it." She giggled, sniffling lightly and returning to her own beanbag. 

"Hey Ty?" She finally asked after a few moments of silence. 

"Hm?" I responded, looking her in the eyes. 

"When you called earlier, you said you wanted to talk to me. What exactly did you want to talk to me about?" 

I froze. 

"I- uh." I was so caught up in just having a normal day with Jenna that I forgot the reason why I wanted to talk to her in the first place. 

 _"You've already crossed the line of no return so might as well tell her now."_ **Blurry** spat in the back of my mind. 

"Hey." She said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder and bringing me back to reality.

"We're Best Frens Ty you can tell me anything. You can trust me." She assured. 

I took a deep breath before answering. 

"I've had a lot on my mind recently." I began. 

"Okay?" 

"A-and I've done some things I'm not proud of." 

"Like going to a party and taking drugs from a stranger that you just met without any thought of what the consequences of your actions could have been." Jenna said, referring to the first night I met Josh. 

"Yes." I said looking shamefully at the wall. 

"And having sex with that very same stranger while being stoned out of my mind." I confessed. 

"What?!" Jenna exclaimed rather loudly. 

I cringed at the volume of her voice. 

"I-I know it was kind of a dumb move but I promise it's not as bad as it sounds." I attempted to defend the situation. 

"Please at least tell me that you guys used protection." She pleaded, shaking her head. 

"We did." I mumbled. 

"Thank god." 

"Tyler, you can't just keep hooking up with strangers and doing drugs and drinking alcohol. Someone is going to eventually get hurt I mean you cou-" She rambled on until I cut her off. 

"I know Jen I know. But I promise the only one I hook up with is Josh and I only take stuff that he gives me and I trust him. He wouldn't hurt me. Plus it's just a little bit of weed and pills occasionally. They help to enhance our senses when we 'do stuff'." I drifted off awkwardly, not wanting to talk about my sex life with my best friend. 

She gnawed on her bottom lip and looked away from me. 

"This isn't you Ty." She began, tears brimming her eyes. 

"What happened to my best friend? The one who went to church with me every Sunday and spent the night at my house all the time. I want that boy back." She concluded. Wiping a stray tear that had cascaded down her cheek. 

I looked at her with sad eyes. 

"It's still me Jen." I almost whispered. 

"I'm not in it that deep. I could quit if I wanted to at anytime. I swear." 

 "Then why don't you?" She looked at me with tear stained cheeks.

I hesitated to find the right words.

"Because I fell in love."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the updates I've been making recently have all been filler chapters and have kind of been leaning off of the main path to the story so I've decided that it's finally time to start getting back to the main concepts of this story. This chapter deals with Tyler's beginning stages of his downward spiral. Jenna expresses concern for her best friend and Tyler himself thinks that what he's been doing isn't really THAT big a deal but deep down he also knows that he's walking down the wrong path and eventually, it's all going to catch up to him and he's going to be too deep into it to be saved. 
> 
> I do apologize for the lack of updates. My life has been very chaotic and busy lately and I haven't really had the time to sit down and write something good for you guys. I know it sucks when the writer of a Fic you like to read doesn't update often enough and always leaves you hanging and wanting more but I always take pride in the things I write and I want to make sure that the material I'm sharing is quality over quantity you know? I'd rather only have one update a month than 3 a week with shitty content. So, I can't promise that I'm going to update often but I do promise that the content I share is going to be of my very best work. 
> 
> Stay Alive Frens |-/ 
> 
> Side note: one of these days when this story is completed, I will be creating/sharing a song/playlist to listen to every chapter and eventually giving these chapters titles to better enhance the material. So, I suggest in the far future when this story has been finished, to come back and re read some things whilst listening to the song(s) I select and hopefully that will enhance your reading experience with more emotions and stuff. Thanks to everyone who's made it this far!


	26. Life, May or May Not Be About Finding True Love But, It's Certainly Not About Begging For It From Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of last chapter but partially in Jenna's POV

(Jenna's POV) 

"Because I fell in love..." My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. 

"What?" I asked, sure that I had heard him wrong. 

"With Josh." 

"I fell in love with Josh. And he's never gonna love me back." 

A broken sob escaped Tyler's lips. 

"Oh, honey c'mere shh." I comforted him, embracing him in my arms and rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

"It wasn't supposed to be this way. This is not what I had planned." He choked, attempting to hold back another sob.

"Are you positive he doesn't feel the same way?" I asked, continuing rubbing circles onto Tyler's back. 

"I know he doesn't." Tyler mumbled in response. 

I sighed softly. It broke my heart seeing my best friend so upset. Especially over a boy. 

"Hey, look at me." I said softly, extending my arms between us so I could look him in the face. 

He looked up with misty eyes. 

"Remember a few weeks ago when I came crying to you because Corey broke up with me?" 

He nodded. 

"And you remember how you told me that my tears were too precious to be wasted on some stupid boy who had no idea what he lost when he chose to walk away from me?" 

He nodded once again. 

"I may have never met this Josh boy but honestly Ty, is he really worth all your tears?"

Tyler sniffled and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. 

"Yes." He croaked out weakly, as he began to sob again. 

I let out a small sigh. 

"Then you should tell him." 

Tyler immediantly ripped himself from my embrace and stood up, pacing and shaking. 

"No. Nononononono." He repeated. 

"You don't understand. Josh doesn't do love. I'm nothing more than a friendly fuck and smoking buddy to him. He'd laugh in my face and then bolt if I told him." 

My heart hurt for him.

"That's not healthy Ty." I stated, barely above a whisper.

"No shit. It doesn't matter anyways, telling you all this was a mistake I'm sorry. " He said, grabbing his backpack and walking up the stairs. 

"No Tyler wait!" I begged. 

But he was already out the door before I could stop him. 

 

(Tyler's POV) 

After storming out of Jenna's house, I had no idea where to go. Part of me wanted to just go home and try to get some sleep but I knew my parents would question why I came home early and I wasn't in the mood to deal with them. The other part of me knew I should have gone back and apologized to Jenna. But I had too much pride for that. I had only one other place to go. 

Josh's apartment. 

I couldn't quite remember where it was but I did remember some distinct landmarks from the last time I was there so I eventually found my way. Taking a deep breath, I turned off the parked car and walked up to Josh's door. Knocking three times I could practically hear my heart beating in my ears. Moments later a shirtless and disheveled looking Josh appeared. 

"Tyler?" He asked, squinting his eyes.

"What're you doing here?"

With sudden, newfound confidence, I gripped him by his belt loop and yanked him closer until my mouth was ghosting over his ear.

"I need you tonight." 

And with that, he pulled me into the apartment, slamming the door shut with his foot and smashing his lips onto mine.

I didn't sleep that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like chapters in Jenna's POV? I think I'm going to make more chapters in her POV in the future. Considering she is kind of a main character and all. Anyways, this is the very beginning of not just Tyler's downfall but his (and Josh's) journey (together ish) and so I guess you could say that this is the starting point where this story really becomes "Joshler material" which I know is the whole reason why you all came here in the first place so hopefully it gets a good response. I truly do appreciate every single one of you!


	27. You're Mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh tells Tyler that he's going to come to a party with him. Tyler protests and Josh gets aggressive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Possesiveness  
> Josh is a little crazy  
> Semi sexual content 
> 
> ***DISCLAIMER***  
> In no way does the way I choose to portray certain characters in this Fic reflect my real life opinions and feelings towards said people.

(Tyler's POV) 

Josh and I stayed up until the early morning sun rose in the distance, pouring light through Josh's apartment window. 

"Hey." Josh repeated.

I took a minute to register that he had been talking to me but eventually, I turned my head to look at him.

"Hm?" I replied, eyes hooded. 

"I said we're going to a party tonight so go home and meet me at this address around 8." He replied, shoving a piece of paper into my jean pocket making sure to squeeze my ass as he removed his hand. 

I let out a groan. 

"I can't."

Josh looked at me with raised brows. 

"I promised my friend Jenna that we could catch a movie and talk since I did sort of walk out on her last night." I shrugged.

"Speaking of which, I should probably text her and make sure we're st-" Josh grabbed my wrist harshly as I began to reach for my phone. 

My eyes met his immediantly. 

"What are you doing?" I asked, swallowing hard. 

"I didn't ask." Josh replied. 

Man I really didn't like the way he was looking at me. 

"W-what?" I asked, confusion filling my features. 

"I said I didn't ask. You're coming to that party with me end of discussion." He growled, dominance oozing out of him. 

I swallowed hard again. 

"B-but I can't just leave Jenna out to dry I-" Josh cut me off once again. 

"What is it with this 'Jenna' girl?" Josh asked, anger dripping from his tone of voice. 

"Does she let you fuck her or something?" He spat. 

"N-no sh-" Josh cut me off yet again. 

"Tell me Tyler, what's so special about Jenna? Hm? Does she give good head? Is she an easy girl to get into bed with?" He kept asking absurd questions. 

"Does she make you feel good like I do?" He semi spat semi whispered in my ear, backing me up until my back hit the wall.

"She's just a friend Josh I-I swear." I finally managed to get out. 

He just chuckled. 

"Then come with me tonight. I'll make you feel _real good."_ Josh's voice made me weak in the knees. 

"You're **mine** and no one else's you hear me Tyler Joseph?" He asked, gripping my face with his hand, pushing my lips out and staring into my eyes. 

"Y-yes." I mumbled, finding it hard to speak since he still had a hold of my lips. 

"And you're going to come with me to that party tonight. Okay?" He asked, removing his hand from its place on my face and clarifying that I was indeed coming with him tonight. 

I nodded, gnawing on my bottom lip. God he could be so persuasive. 

"Use your words _baby boy_." He growled, squeezing my already half hard erection. 

I suppressed a moan. 

"O-okay I'll come with you tonight." 

He chuckled again, backing away from me and turning to go into the other room. 

"You're not going to help me out?" I called out, referring to the growing tent in my pants. 

"Nope. Not in the mood." He replied from the other room. 

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Don't forget to leave me some joints on your way out." He called out, shooting me the signal that I had overstayed my welcome. 

"Okay." I replied, placing 4 pre rolled joints on Josh's nightstand and grabbing my jacket off the back of the desk chair. 

"Bye." I whispered, hoping Josh heard as I turned around and walked out the door. 

A sad, empty feeling leaving with me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how you guys are going to feel about Josh's behavior in this chapter but let me tell you, this is where things start going downhill and this is how Josh is going to be from now on (around his "friends" and sometimes not) Im sorry if any of this material is triggering but to be fair, I did give my warning in the beginning. This story has always had the intentions of portraying Josh and Tyler's "relationship" as unhealthy. This is where they begins to show. Thank you all for sticking around.
> 
> PS 2500 hits omfg thank you guys so much


	28. My Friends And I Have Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh drags Tyler along to that party. Shit goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Almost rape/non con  
> Violence  
> Drugs/alcohol  
> Underage drugs/alcohol (just Tyler TBH)  
> It's a party so I mean you know what to expect probably  
> Josh is still possessive of Tyler  
> And a little violent

(Tyler's POV) 

Despite not wanting to go, I showed up at the party Josh had been so persistent about me attending with him. This party was different somehow than ones I had previously attended though. It seemed less crowded, but I wasn't complaining in the least. As I began walking up to the front door, my phone buzzed. 

**Unknown number: "When you get here, come around back. There's a few people I want to introduce you to."**

I furrowed my brows.

 **Tyler: "Josh?"**  

I got a response immediantly.

**Unknown number: "Yeah. Who the fuck else would it be? Are you here yet?"**

My chest felt heavy. 

**Tyler: "Just got here, I'm coming around back like you asked. Be there in a minute."**

Josh didn't reply. 

I made my way around back and found Josh and a few other people sitting in lawn chairs around a fire pit. A girl with long blue hair was sitting on his lap and giggling in his ear. That image made my already heavy heart sink even further into the abyss.

"There you are!" Josh exclaimed, pushing the girl off of his lap and setting his beer down on the ground as he stumbled over to me. 

"How's my favorite little slut?" He slurred, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. 

He was wasted. 

"You're drunk." I stated, sadness laced in my voice. 

"And you're not. Let's change that!" He replied, snapping his fingers at one of his 'friends' who reached into a cooler and grabbed a beer out of it and removed the cap before handing it to Josh. 

"Drink." Josh demanded, holding the beer up to my lips and tilting it backwards. 

I saw no reason to fight him about it, so I let him tip it back until I was practically gagging. 

"That's my boy." He praised as I finished the bottle that was held to my lips. 

"C'mere I want to introduce you to some cool ass people." Josh said, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to where his friends were located. 

"That one there is Dallon." He started, pointing to a tall guy with dark hair.

"The one next to him is Patrick and on the other side of Pat is Andy. Next to Andy is Hayley and on the other side of her is Melanie. Marina, Brendon and Pete are supposed to be here but I'm pretty sure they're in the bathroom shooting up or something." Josh shrugged, sitting down and pulling me onto his lap. 

I furrowed my brows. Did he just say "shooting up"? 

A faint cough came from the other side of Josh breaking me out of my thoughts. It was the girl who had been sitting on his lap when I first arrived. 

"Oh. And of course that's Ashley." Josh finished introducing everyone. 

I recongnized her from the local record shop but chose not to say anything about it. 

"N-nice to meet you." I stuttered out.

"Awww he's shy! That's cute." Hayley giggled, causing my cheeks to heat up and my face to be buried in Josh's neck. 

"So this is the cute twink you met at Brendon's party a few months ago?" Dallon blurted out, blowing smoke out of his nose. 

I blushed harder. 

"Mhm. Couldn't keep his eyes and hands off of me once we met." Josh smirked, rubbing small circles on my hipbone. 

"Joooosshhh!" I whined out of embarrassment. 

"What? It's true!" He replied with a chuckle. 

Everyone made small talk for awhile and I was really beginning to enjoy the company. 

"Hey Ty, go get me a beer from the fridge inside the garage." Josh demanded. 

"M'kay be back in a sec." I giggled, pretty wasted myself.

I got up off of Josh's lap and stumbled towards the garage side door which was only accessible from inside the kitchen. Maneuvering inbetween sweaty bodies, I finally found my way to the garage. I walked over to the fridge in there and opened it, grabbing a bottle like Josh asked. As I went to turn around, I felt someone grab me from behind and push me against the wall. My heart began to beat at what felt like 100mph. 

_ *** TW Attempted Rape/Noncon *** _

 "Hey baby." Some random guy purred in my ear. 

"Been looking at you all night." 

"G-get off of me." I whimpered, attempting to push him off of me.

He was too strong. 

"Don't fight this baby I know you want it too." He pushed me over so that my face was shoved up against the wall and my arms were pinned to my chest.

"Word around here is you're a pro at sucking dudes dry. Came to see if you live up to your reputation." He growled, sucking on my earlobe and fumbling with my belt. 

I squirmed and squirmed trying to free my hands from being pressed into the wall. Tears were now streaming down my cheeks as whimpers and quiet sobs left my lips. He undid my belt and pulled my pants down to my ankles along with my boxers. 

"Such a pretty cock." He moaned, grabbing my exposed member and harshly jerking it.

"N-no please s-sto-op!" I sobbed loudly, praying that someone would hear me and come stop this. 

"Oh come on baby. It's no fun if you don't play along!" He chuckled, pulling his own pants down and pressing the tip of his dick against my ass. 

"S-stop no!" I was now using all my strength trying to get free.

i was about to give up when the garage door swung open. 

"HEY!" A very angry Josh shouted, charging the stranger and shoving him to the ground. 

I took this time to quickly turn myself around and pull my pants and boxers half up. Josh was on top of the stranger and beating the shit out of him. 

"J-Josh stop." I tried to yell but it only came out as a whisper. 

Blood was flying everywhere and the strangers face was now on the verge of being unrecognizable. Bones cracked harshly with every blow that Josh's fist landed. By now, people had heard the commotion coming from the garage and an audience formed, cheering Josh on as he continuously beat the shit out of the attempted rapist. 

"Don't. You. Ever. Fucking. Touch. My. Property. Again. You. Piece. Of. Shit." Josh hit the stranger again with every word that he spat. 

"Tyler. Joseph. Is. Mine. And. Nobody. Else's. Do. You. Understand. Me. You. Fucking. Poor. Excuse. Of. A. Human. Life?" Josh had picked the stranger up by the collar of his shirt and was now repeatedly slamming his entire body against the wall. 

The stranger coughed up blood, his eyes both swollen shut already from the punches. 

"I said do you fucking understand me punk?!" Josh spat. 

"Y-yes." The stranger wheezed, probably from the broken rib he was sure to have from the kicking Josh did. 

"Good." Josh spat, dropping the stranger and giving him one last blow to the head which knocked him out cold.

People stood shocked. Some too shocked to ever speak. Others just clapped and cheered Josh's name.

"Wow Dun way to go! I didn't know you were such a badass!" Someone I didn't know yelled out.

Several other people yelled out things too but I was too out of it to listen to them.

"Ty?" Josh was now in front of me.

"C'mon we're going home." He said, picking me up and carrying me out of the garage and through the crowd of people.

_ *** End of Attempted Noncon ***  _

I held it all in until we were back at Josh's place. It was there that I broke down completely.

"Shhhh Tyler it's fine. You're fine. I beat the life out of that guy he won't ever bother you again." Josh said, rubbing my back as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Y-you saved me." I sniffled, wrapping my arms around his neck and sitting in his lap.

"Of course I did. Can't have my baby boy getting hurt now can we?" He wiped my tears away with his thumbs.  

Our eyes met and we just stared for awhile. I sniffled quietly before speaking. 

"C-can I kiss you?" I squeaked out, knowing that Josh didn't do kissing. 

Josh looked at me with slightly enlarged pupils. He didn't respond for quite some time. Eventually he did though. 

"Just this once." He mumbled. 

I was sure I didn't hear him right. 

"W-what was that?" I asked, trying to make sure I heard him right. 

He just rolled his eyes before placing a hand behind my head and pulling me closer. Our lips connected and it felt so different from the other times. This felt more personal and more sensual. His lips moving in sync with mine took my breath away and I felt like I was floating on the clouds. It was short lived when he pulled away.

"Don't expect that to be a thing we do now. It was just this once." He murmured, sliding out from underneath me and walking over to the window to pick up a joint and light it. 

I grazed my fingertips over my lips and smiled softly as I felt the tingling sensation still there. 

I went to sleep that night with a smile on my lips and a slightly less empty feeling in my chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay so I'm sorry about this chapter. It was really weird and kind of sad :( Anyways, I just want to remind everyone that things begin to go downhill from here so prepare yourselves. That's not to say that there won't be some happy moments inbetween but mostly this is how it's gonna be. I decided to end this chapter with a little fluffy stuff cause it'll be the last probably for awhile. Anyways, incase you guys were wondering, I don't write much of Tyler hearing Blurryface anymore because when he's around Josh, blurry is gone. There will be a little more of blurry here and there with the chapters where Tyler isn't around Josh but we'll get to that when it comes around. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I made it a little longer than most! 
> 
> PS  
> I actually really love Halsey and everyone else who I put in Josh's "friend" group so don't be offended as to how they are portrayed in this story. Thanks.


	29. The Beginning Of The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has another flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Mentions of death  
> Grieving  
> Broken-hearted Josh  
> His mom tries to talk to him about Debby's death  
> She wants him to go to therapy  
> This is where Josh starts to become who he is in present time

(Josh's POV)

_Debby,_

_It's been 6 whole months since you've been gone._ _Six_ _and I still can't let you  go. I kept your perfume and sometimes when I miss you the most, I'll spray it on my pillow and pretend that you're laying next to me like you used to. It's almost gone. I could just go and buy another bottle but this is the last one **you** bought. It wouldn't be the same. I'm pathetic right? Everyone else seems to think so. They also think I'm nuts because I swear to god I see you in everything I do. That's not much these days considering I don't go out like we used to. But at night, if I listen hard enough, I can hear you whisper my name. I swear.  If I hadn't been behind the wheel that day, you would still be here. I just  know_ _it. I know that you of all people, the most **cautious** driver in the world would've seen that semi coming around the corner. You wouldn't have made that turn because you would have known better than to try and make a turn when your blind spot was covered. I'm not as smart as you clearly. Maybe I am crazy like everyone claims. I mean I'm writing to a DEAD girl for christs sake. Everyday I look at the abundance of letters that are piled up in my desk drawer and I think to myself,_

_"Maybe I should head down to the post office and send those out."_

_When I know damn well there's nowhere to send them to. Even if there were, I'd never get a response anyways._

_Please Deb, give me a sign that you're out there. Just one._

_-Josh_

 

I folded the letter up and placed it in an envelope before sticking it in the desk drawer and letting out a deep breath. 

"Josh, honey?" Three faint knocks were heard before my mother poked her head in. 

"What?" I unintentionally snapped, making her flinch. 

"I-I just wanted to let you know that me and your brother are on our way to Church. You're welcome to join us as always. Would you like to come?" 

I cackled loudly. 

"Church?" I laughed. 

"Church?!" I yelled this time. 

I was so tired of hearing that God could solve every problem in the world. That going to church could heal your mind and soul. Truthfully, I never believed these lies in the first place. But, if I had, after what happened to Debby, I would have surly lost my faith. 

"Where was our lord and savior when I had to be physically pried off of my dead girlfriends body? Hmm?" I spat. 

"Where was God when that semi crashed into my car and flipped it upside down?" 

"Where wa-" I was cut off. 

"That's enough Joshua!" My mother cried. 

"What happened to Debby was a tragedy of course but you acting this way will not bring her back. Nothing will. Don't you dare blame God for what happened to her!" She scolded me.

Uncomfortable silence filled the air. It felt like it was suffocating me so, I spoke up. 

"I'm so done." I growled, going to my closet and pulling out a backpack. 

"W-what do you think you're doing young man?" My mother shouted, trying to stop me from shoving clothes into the bag. 

"What the fuck does it look like?! I'm leaving!" I spat, shoving her off of me. 

"Leaving?! Abandoning your family in this time of need? Your father wou-." I cut her off. 

"My father wouldn't what? Wouldn't approve? You've got to stop using that excuse to dictate mine and Jordan's lives! News flash mom, dad's been dead for 10 years! And no amount of praying is going to bring him back either!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. 

She stood in place frozen, her mouth ajar. 

"I cannot believe the way you are acting right now." She finally spoke. 

I rolled my eyes. 

"I'd say get used to it but I won't be sticking around much longer anyways." 

I shoved past her and made my way down the stairs. Jordan, my 12 year old brother was sitting at the kitchen table, headphones in his ears. I walked past him and grabbed a few things from the fridge before tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. 

"See ya around buddy." I mumbled half heartedly. 

He gave a small nod before placing his headphones back on his head. Just as I was about to leave, my mother came rushing down the stairs and gripped my arm tightly. 

"P-please don't go Josh." She had tears in her eyes. 

I almost felt sympathetic towards her. But then I remembered that she's an actress. Fake crying was her specialty. 

"Y-you're all your brother and I have left! Please just stay here. I know you're hurting and what happened to Debby was so unfair. She was far too young to go so soon." I cut her off before she could say another word. 

"I'm leaving, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." I spoke quietly this time, rolling my shoulder so her hand would fall off of it. 

"No Josh don't go. Stay here and I'll get you a therapist. You can talk to them about Debby and stop grieving so much. It's time to move on with your life." She said, sending me off the edge.

"Fuck you." I spat, slamming the door behind me. 

-

I had been aimlessly wandering the streets for hours now. I had no car and no money. Barely any food and oh did I mention that it's nearly December? Winters in Columbus were the worst. They were always so harsh and unforgiving. Much like me. I guess that's kind of why I like it though. I eventually found myself in the center of a small park in downtown Columbus. It was mostly deserted considering it was nearly 2am. A few homeless people were wandering about. I found a spot under a tree that seemed safe enough to rest on. Not long after I dozed off, was I being shaken awake. 

"Hey." I heard faintly as I began to open my eyes. 

Once I did fully open them, I came face to face with a man. He seemed to be about 35 or so. 

"Hmm?" I hummed in confusion. 

"You look like you could use some extra cash." The stranger commented. 

I just blinked at him.

"I have some work you could do. You interested?" He asked, raising his brows. 

I pondered in thought for a moment. 

"W-what kind of work?" I asked.

He grinned sinisterly. 

"Follow me, I'll show you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Josh's backstory because we need it! Idk if it was really clear or not but I'll lay it down for you guys so nobody is confused! So, in present time, Josh is 20 (Tyler's 17 but it's not really relevant rn) ANYWAYS Josh and Debby were together for 2 years (since she died on their two year anniversary). They met when Josh was 15 and Debby was 14 and started dating when Josh turned 16 and Debby 15. So basically the timeline goes: 
> 
> Josh(15) Debby(14) they meet  
> Josh(16) Debby(15) they start dating  
> Josh(18) Debby (17) Debby dies (their two year anniversary)  
> Josh (20) present time. 
> 
> So it was two years into their relationship that it ended and an ADDITIONAL two years until present time.
> 
> Just wanted to clear that up for everyone so this whole thing made more sense. 
> 
> Anyways, I always appreciate the comments, kudos, and reads you guys give this story. I love you all very much and thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to read my work <3


	30. Losing Grip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder how Josh survived on the streets at age 19 with no money or shelter? Well here's part ONE of explaining all that shit so... Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Attempted rape/Noncon  
> Little bit of violence  
> Death
> 
>  
> 
> PSA  
> Some of these warnings are probably going to apply to a lot of content that I write from here on out so just basically be prepared for anything

(Josh's POV) 

*** attempted rape/Noncon*** 

I let out a cry of pain as the stranger slammed my back against the brick wall.

"Gonna fuck you so hard baby." The man grunted, pinning me with one arm and undoing my belt with the other. 

Agreeing to work for the man that approached me in the park was the worst decision I could have ever made. He ended up being a human trafficker; and he had just sold me to some street scumbag who paid him 8 grand.

"G-get off of me!" I tried to shout but he covered my mouth.

"Shut up you little slut!" He hissed, slamming me against the wall once again.

"You belong to me remember? I **own** you."

The stranger successfully undid my jeans and was now groping me through my boxers. 

"Stop!" My words of protest were muffled by his hand still. 

I screwed my eyes shut, hoping that if I  closed them hard enough, everything would be over with quicker. Just as he was about to pull my pants and boxers down, I heard a loud crack and a cry of pain. The man let go of me as he dropped to the ground. 

*** end of attempted rape/Noncon ***

"W-wh." I began to say as I opened my eyes. 

Infront of me stood a stranger. A tall man with short blonde hair, and a permantely furrowed brow. 

"You alright kid?" He asked, after giving my assaulter one final kick to the face. 

I quickly re-did my jeans and looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Y-yeah thanks." I replied shakily. 

"What's your name?" He asked, observing me in a nonsexual way. 

I hesitated for a moment. 

"J-Josh." I replied with a stutter. 

He just gave a silent nod. 

"Names Marshall, follow me." 

That was the day my life as a street kid began to change. 

**_* Time lapse, One year, 8 months *_ **

"Can we go over the plan again?" I asked  Marshall as we approached the dark alley.

He stopped walking and turned to look at me.

"Fine. Listen up this time would ya?" He let out an audible sigh as he began to re-explain our plan. 

It's been almost two years since Marshall saved me from getting raped in that alley. After that day, He brought me to a secret hideout where about 6 others lived.

(Five as of last week, one of our "brothers" was wrongfully killed by a cop.)

Anyways, these people all worked "illegal" jobs of some sort, but always had each other's backs and a place to call home. Perhaps it's just because I've been around for the shortest amount of time, but none of the others seem to like me very much. I don't let it bother me though. My only option was to join them and pay my dues for Marshall stepping in that day. I wasn't complaining though, anything was better than being trafficked and sold off to horny old men. The hideout was located down in Cincinnati. I enjoyed being out of Columbus. It lessened the chances of someone I used to know running into me. 

"You see that diner across the street?" Marshall asked, grabbing my face and turning my head to the side. 

I nodded.

"Frank Ruger, the cop that shot and killed Rob last week, eats there every Friday evening, alone from 7:30 to 8:45pm." Marshall glanced at me before continuing.

"He parked his car in the empty lot across from it. That's where we're gonna strike him out at." I chewed on my lip nervously. 

"You're going to be the distraction. Approach him when he gets to his car and make up some excuse to keep him busy. While you're doing that, I'm going to sneak up behind him and knock him out." 

"W-what if he sees you?" I stammered. 

"I've been running this game since I was 14. I know what I'm doing." Marshall reassured me. 

"Okay, what happens after you knock him out?" I asked curiously. 

"You'll grab his feet and help me throw him in the backseat of his car before we jack his ride and drive down to the docks." 

I inhaled sharply and nodded slightly. 

"Great. A plan that relies on me not fucking things up." I sarcastically commented. 

"You ready?" Marshall asked. 

"Yeah, I guess." I nodded.

"Good. Because he's heading towards his car right now. Go get em tiger." Marshall said, giving me a pat on the shoulder before pushing me out of the dark alley and towards the secluded parking lot.

I inhaled deeply before beginning my stride towards Frank.

"Excuse me sir." I began, making him jump from surprise.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked in a bored tone.

I was .5 seconds from spilling my guts and running in the opposite direction.

"I uh." I began.

"I'd like to report a crime." I squeaked.

He raised his brows at me. 

"A crime?" He asked, scratching his moustache. 

"Y-yeah." I replied.

"What kind of crime?" 

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. 

"A m-murder." 

He froze for a moment. 

"Alright son, if you're serious I'm gonna need ya to come down to the station and file a report." Frank spoke. 

"O-okay." I stammered, peering behind Frank only to see Marshall tiptoeing towards us. 

"B-but there's one more thing I have to tell you." I quickly added.

"What's that?" Frank asked in a monotone. 

I couldn't get a response out before Marshall swung the crowbar at Frank's head, hitting him on the temple and knocking him out cold. 

"What're you waiting for Dun?" Marshall semi shouted. 

"Open the back door and grab his feet!" 

I did as I was told before hopping in the passengers seat and riding down to the docks with Marshall behind the wheel. 

-

The drive down to the docks was silent for most of the way. I often thought back to right before Marshall and I left for the "mission". 

_**~~~ Flashback ~~~** _

"Are you serious, M?!" Rena half shouted,  following us towards the front door.

"Yes. I'm serious, Rena." He replied with a bored tone. 

She continued glaring at me as I grabbed my phone and jacket. 

"This is one of the biggest missions we've **ever** had and you're seriously going to go at it alone?" 

"I won't be alone. Josh is coming with me." Marshall said nonchalantly. 

"You might as well be alone! He's nothing more than an inexperienced, scared little boy!" 

Everyone froze at that. 

"This guy we're after killed Rob." Rena choked out, holding back tears. 

"He never even got to meet him for christs sake!" 

Marshall went to open his mouth but Rena interrupted him again.

"Why do you have to choose to take him? What if something goes wrong and he screws the mission up? You could end up dead!" She shouted, getting everyone's attention once again. 

"Rena, he needs the experience. I've been in this business for sixteen years. Nothing is going to go wrong and if something does get screwed up, you all know the drill for when one of our own get killed. I expect you all to do your part  when that time comes. I don't care if it's tonight or ten years from now. We're all each other have and if I remember right, it wasn't so long ago that you all had been the 'new blood' just like Josh is now." 

Marshall put his hand on my shoulder. 

"Cut the kid some slack okay?" 

I swallowed hard when I noticed that everyone had been staring at me. 

"C'mon J, it's time to go." Marshall stated, turning around and opening the door to leave. 

I followed behind him. 

**_~~~ End of Flashback ~~~_ **

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard an unfamiliar voice.

"W-where am I?" Frank called our weakly, sitting up and holding his head. 

My heart nearly leapt out of my chest in fright. 

"Fuck. Josh he can't be awake yet. We're still eight minutes away from the docks. Knock him out again!" Marshall shouted, trying to keep his eyes on the road and instruct me at the same time. 

"W-with what?" I shouted back, searching for anything I could use to knock Frank out again with. 

"Just use the crowbar. It's by your feet." Marshall replied with a loud tone. 

"Y-you're that kid that approached me about a murder." Frank suddenly spoke, reaching for his radio. 

I panicked and quickly swung the crowbar, hitting Frank upside the head once again. He wasn't down yet. Frank blindly grabbed for the deadly weapon and began resisting. This caused me to accidentally fall into Marshall. He struggled to regain control of the wheel. 

"Fuck!" Marshall grunted, as he lost control of the wheel for good. 

And with that, the car went under, submerging us all in the lake that surrounded the docks. 

-

I lost consciousness for a few moments but quickly regained it when water began to fill my lungs. Panic filled my chest as my limbs began to flail around in attempt to get out of the car. Looking to my left, I saw Marshall floating. He appeared to be unconscious. 

"Shit." I thought to myself, throwing the passengers side door open and wrapping my arms around Marshall. 

It was hard trying to swim to the surface with the weight of two people holding me down but, I eventually managed to reach the edge of the dock. Using all my remaining strength, I flung Marshall over my head and onto the dock. Jumping up, I bent down next to Marshall and placed my ear on his chest searching for a heartbeat. There wasn't one. 

No. Nononononono oh no please." I mumbled, pressing down on his chest and starting CPR. 

Marshall couldn't die on me. He was all me and the others had. He was the dad I never had growing up. He took care of me when my own flesh and blood practically tossed me out on the street. And if he died on my watch, I'd surely be thrown back on to the streets by the others. 

"C'mon M." I murmured, blowing air into his lungs. 

Nothing.

I pushed and pushed until bruises began to form on Marshall's chest. He was gone. 

"Fuck." I shouted, slamming my fists down on the dock. 

What was I going to do? 

"I have to call." I whispered sadly. 

I remembered Marshall's words from earlier that day. It was a rule that if one of our family members were to get hurt or killed on someone else's watch, we were to call everyone and gather because the only thing you could do from there is give them the proper care or burial they deserved and it was best to have everyone there to pay their respects. 

I dug around in my pockets, searching for my cell phone. When I found it, it was destroyed from the water. I fell to my knees and let out a loud sob of frustration. Now what was I going to do? Turns out there was a pay phone a few miles down the road. I made it there and luckily still had some change in my pants pocket that was usable. 

"M?" Rena answered the phone.

"The old docks down on Willows Ave. Bring everyone." I whispered, silent tears  falling down my cheeks. 

She didn't respond. 

- 

"What's wr-" Quinn, one of my sisters began to ask as her and the others began making their way towards us. 

Looking at Marshall's body, she choked on whatever question she was going to ask. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. 

"Explain. Now!" Rena demanded, tears welling in her eyes.

"I-I." I choked. 

"What happened?!" She shouted. 

"Back off Rena." Jani butted in. 

"Give him a minute." 

I choked in a breath before speaking. 

F-frank Ruger. He-ee woke up early. M said to kn-nock him out again so I tried. H-he resisted a-nd M lost c-control of the car. " I choked down a sob before continuing. 

"S-so I dragged him to the s-surface an-nd I cou-uldn't get him to w-wake up." I wiped my eyes furiously. 

"I tr-ried CPR and e-everything." 

Everyone came closer to take a look at Marshall. 

"He helped me run away from an abusive boyfriend." Quinn commented, tears falling silently. 

"I was living in a disgusting homeless shelter that doubled as a drug house." Dean barely whispered. 

"He saved me from being kidnapped when I was 13." Rena nearly sobbed. 

"I was left for dead in the street after a gang fight." Jani said, emptily staring down at Marshall. 

"I always did tell him that he was going to get himself killed saving another kid one of these days."  Rena scoffed, glaring at me. 

"And of course he goes out on a mission with just the new kid and winds up dead." She finishes, turning around and heading towards the car. 

Uncomfortable silence fills the air for what felt like ages.

"All who think Josh should be banished and cast out raise your hand." Rena suddenly speaks, raising her hand. 

Panic and guilt fills my chest. 

"Please." I whimper. 

First Dean's hand goes up. Then Quinn's. I look over at Jani with pleading eyes. 

"Please don't do this." I beg. 

He avoids my gaze and raises his hand. My heart shatters right there. 

"It's settled then." Rena says. 

"Go back to the hell you came from Joshua Dun." She spat. 

"And never come back." She adds before shoving past me to get to M's body.

I take one last glance around at the brothers and sisters I once had. I was back to square one now. Nobody to save me from the path I was going down and no place to call my own. I had but one place left to turn to.

_The man in the park._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I hate this chapter. But I guess it is kinda necessary for the story to progress so please don't hate me for making you read that piece of shit. This chapter is only part ONE of TWO (or three) of how Josh lived and who he was before the night that he met Tyler. More bad stuff will happen and I promise I will have more Joshler material soon. Comment and let me know if you guys want more chapters that include Blurryface or not. Keep in mind he's only present when Tyler and Josh aren't together so if you do, I'll have to write a chapter or two with just Tyler in it. Also, let me know if you guys have any ideas for chapters. I mean I already know how I'm going to end this and I already have the major parts of the story planned out but I'm always open to hear suggestions for chapters in between all that. So give me some ideas of what you want to read if you'd like! Thanks for reading guys! It really does mean the world to me! |-/


	31. Ain't Youth Meant To Be Beautiful?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh goes back to working for the man he met in the park. Very bad things happen to him. He does hard drugs for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Rape/Noncon  
> Drugs use (MDMA, Methlyphenidate etc)  
> Bad people doing bad things  
> Violence (implied )  
> Abuse and Assault (implied)

(Josh's POV) 

"Knew you'd come back you filthy little slut. They always do." The park man grunted, thrusting into me with every other word. 

I bit my lip to keep myself from crying out a plea for him to stop. Everything hurt. My knees were rubbed raw from being on them so much and don't even get me started on the lockjaw/sore throat I had from all the dicks that have paid to be in my mouth lately. I knew better than to say anything about the pain though. I deserved it. 

"F-fuck." He shuddered as he came inside the condom.

My stomach contracted as bile began to fill my mouth. I closed my lips tightly and swallowed it back down. I'd get beaten if I vomited infront of him. He pulled out of my throbbing body and pushed me over causing my knees to give out and my face to slam against the floor. 

"Pathetic." He spat, redoing his jeans and leaving the room I was trapped in, locking the door behind him. 

I waited until I could no longer hear footsteps before letting out the first of many choked sobs. The kind that shook your entire body and made your chest feel like it was going to give out on you. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad if it did. Ever since I was banished from staying with my street brothers and sisters, I've been locked up in a small, damp, cellar-like room with no food or water. All that was in it was a thin blanket that laid on the dingy floor. It was my punishment for running away from the man who bought me and from the business in general. The park man comes in every night and rapes me. Always on my hands and knees and never slow or gentle. I'm pretty sure he's torn something because there's an excruciating pain that shoots through my ass and all the way up my spine that makes holding back the tears harder. The first night I came back, I got a pretty bad beating. My ribs and jaw were still bruised up pretty bad. At this point, I wish I would've killed myself instead of coming back. I was locked up so tightly that the idea of escaping was nearly impossible. That fact made me cry harder. 

-

It was January the third when I tried drugs for the first time. I had smoked weed long before any of this bad shit happened but, anything stronger I had yet been too fucked up to try. There's always a first for everything I guess. It was at some party down on fifth street. I don't know exactly how I got out of my confining cellar, but I did. I had run through the night to the bridge on the corner of fifth and seventh, harsh winds blowing against my naked chest and rocks cutting into my bare feet. I was free. 

"Hey, you." I heard from beside me. 

Turning to my left, I came face to face with a girl who seemed to be around my age. Maybe a little younger. She had long blonde hair and a body that looked a little malnourished much like my own. 

"What?" I spat, keeping my guard up. 

"Damn what's with the hostility?" She asked.

"I was just going to say that what you're about to do is a really fucking stupid idea." 

I scoffed. 

"Oh and I suppose this is the part where you try to talk me out of it by telling me how loved I am and how my mother would miss me?" 

"No, ac-" 

"Well guess what? I fucking hate my mother and there's no one left here to miss me." I spat, looking down at the rushing water that flowed under the bridge. 

"I'm here to tell you that jumping off a bridge is an overdramatic and much too complicated way to go. If you want to die, you should just shoot yourself or something. Much quicker if you ask me." She said nonchalantly leaning against the ledge and popping her gum.

I just stared at her. We stood in silence for a bit before she finally spoke up. 

"You know not everything in this world is so shitty." She said, looking into my eyes. 

"There are things to live for. Things that make living bearable at least. I can hook you up if you want. I'd hate to see a pretty face like yours go to waste." She smirked at the end. 

I don't know why I decided to follow her but I did. She led us to some worn down apartment complex on eighth street. Judging by the music and crowds of people, a party was going on. 

"Come on, this way." She grabbed my wrist and pushed us through a large crowd. 

We finally reached a room that wasn't swarming with people. A man and woman we're standing on the far side of the room when we came in. 

"Hello Isabelle, nice to see you again." The man said, giving her a smile. 

"Who's your... friend?" The woman asked, looking me up and down. 

"This is uh." Isabelle started. 

"Josh." I finished for her. 

"Found him down on the bridge at fifth and seventh." Isabelle informed them. 

"He was going to jump." She added, making the woman's eyebrows raise as she looked at the man. 

"You don't say." The man said with a sinister tone. 

"Well, if it's an escape from life your looking for, you've come to the right place." He smiled, sending chills down my spine. 

"Honey, get the special case." He turned towards the woman and spoke.

She smiled before walking into a different room and coming back with a big, black suitcase. 

"Now, what's your poison boy?" The man asked as he opened the suitcase up. 

I just looked at him confused. 

"He's never used." Isabelle spoke for me. 

The woman smiled and walked over to me. 

"A fresh blood huh?" She asked, running the tip of her fingernail down my bare chest. 

"Give him two parts MDMA mixed with half a tablet of Methylphenidate." The woman said to the man. 

"It'll lessen the extremity of taking pure MDMA without getting rid of the high completely." She told me. 

I just nodded. 

The man smashed the substances up and formed three lines on the table. 

"Just try one first." He told me. 

"I don't want any blood on my hands." He mumbled, stepping away from the table and giving me full access. 

"It's on me today." Isabelle told the woman as I bent down to take the first line. 

I truly didn't know what I was snorting or even the "right" way to do it. But, nonetheless, I did it. I snorted the mystery substance up my right nostril and I truly had never felt more alive. 

"Wow." I exclaimed in a hushed tone. 

Isabelle smiled at me before snorting one of the lines too. 

I stayed awake that night. 

-

Isabelle and I became partners in crime. We did whatever we had to, to be able to afford our drugs. Whether it was beating someone until their lungs were punctured by broken ribs or holding a gun to someone head, we got what we wanted. Neither of us dared to touch the really hard stuff like heroin or cocaine. We were happy sticking to minor things like MDMA. At least for now. I was nearly twenty when Isabelle disappeared. She had been gone when I woke up one morning. All her things were still in the shitty apartment we shared and there was no note of explanation in sight. I blamed myself at first. Perhaps I scared her off when I kissed her the night before she vanished. Or maybe she was so disgusted with the fact that we had sex that she decided to find someone who'd give her heroin and OD'd in some worn down hotel room. Either way, it changed me. Her disappearance triggered the change. I shaved the sides of my head that night. The next day, I gathered all the things I wanted from the apartment and then set it on fire without looking back. I was tired of being abandoned over and over again. I was going to walk this world alone and I had come to terms with that.

I spent eight months with that mindset.

Then he came along. Tyler fucking Joseph. He intrigued me. I wanted to know who he was. What kind of person he could become. What kind of person _I_ could turn him into. I had already ruined my own life. I wanted to ruin his too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow why is my writing always so dark? Idk ANYWAYS Sorry for not updating like ever. Been busy school etc. I'm sure this chapter doesn't even make any sense but I mean whatever I hope it makes at least some sort of sense. I'm too lazy to proof read this so if you come across something that's out of place, ignore it. I know the past few chapters have been just Past! Josh. So I guess since this one ended with Josh finally being present time Josh, I can go back to writing the story in present time which means more Joshler and yay! I might wait awhile to update this though because I can feel myself slowly losing sight of the main plot and I don't want to rush anything or give out sloppily written stuff so be patient with me. Thanks to everyone who reads and such! 
> 
> Stay Alive |-/


	32. He's Hurting Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has another nightmare about Debby. Tyler tries to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning***  
> Mild violence/abuse

(Josh's POV) 

I was running through a forest.

"Josh!" Debby shouted from a distance.

I ran towards her voice.

"Debby!" I shouted back, trying to find her.

This went on for what felt like days until I finally found her.

"Josh!" She screamed, running into my open arms.

I held onto her with all the strength I had. After a few minutes had passed, she whispered in my ear. 

"Why?" 

I furrowed my brow. 

"Why what?" I asked her, attempting to pull away so I could look her in the eyes. 

"Why did you kill me?" She nearly sobbed. 

I was absolutely lost now. 

"What do you mean Deb yo-" I cut myself off as I looked down. 

In my right hand was a knife. Its blade plunged into Debby's abdomen. 

"W-wha I-I." I stammered, releasing my grip on the knifes handle. 

I looked back up at Debby and let out a shriek. Her eyes were gone and her flesh appeared to be rotting. 

"No I-I didn't I- This isn't real!" I shouted, stepping away from Debby and backing myself up until my back hit a tree. 

"You killed me Josh." She said, stepping closer to me.

Blood was dripping from her empty eye sockets.

"N-no!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. 

"Why would you do that?" She sobbed, clutching her stomach where she ripped out the knife. 

"Why did you kill me?!" She screamed, plunging the knife into a nearby tree. 

"I-I'm sorry!" I screamed back, dropping to the ground. 

"No you're not." Debby spoke, wiping her face with the back of her hand causing blood to smear on her rotting cheek. 

"But you will be." She smirked, grabbing the knife from the tree and running towards me. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs and curled myself into a ball. I was prepared for the knife to stab into me like it did her 

When...

-

"Josh!" I shot up, smacking my head harshly against someone elses. 

I took a moment to catch my breath before looking on the floor to see who I had smacked heads with. I looked down only to find Tyler laying on the floor, hand held to his forehead in pain. 

"What the fuck man!" I shouted.

Tyler stood up and sat back on his side of the bed.

"What are you doing here?!" I demanded answers.

"You brought me back here after that fucking party you **forced** me to go to. You know the one where I almost got _raped_?!"  Tyler yelled back, rubbing his head where a small lump was starting to form. 

I took a moment to remember the events he was describing. It came back after a few minutes. I was about to turn back over and go to sleep when Tyler spoke. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, genuine concern lacing his voice. 

"Peachy." I replied harshly. 

I had hoped that my rudeness would be a hint for Tyler to stop talking. He didn't. 

"Who's Debby?" He asked causing me to shoot up and practically pounce on top of him. 

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" I spoke through my teeth, looking straight into Tyler's fright filled eyes. 

He swallowed hard. 

"I-I said who is Debby?" He repeated hesitantly. 

I gripped his shirt collar. 

"Where did you hear that name from?" I demanded an answer. 

He didn't answer right away. 

"Tell me!" I shouted, clenching my fist around his collar tighter. 

"Y-you were practically screaming it in your sleep!" Tyler shouted back.

"That's what woke me up." He added. 

I let go of his shirt and got off of him. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes but I refused to cry infront of Tyler. 

"I can tell she's obviously a sensitive topic. Sorry for bringing it up." Tyler apologized. 

I didn't reply. We sat in complete and utter silence for a good five minutes before he spoke again. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. 

"I noticed you were crying in your sleep and I know it's none of my business but I-" I cut him off. 

"You're right." I snapped. 

"It's not." 

Tyler winced at my tone.

"I just want to help you Josh." He barely whispered, resting his head on my shoulder. 

"Well you can't!" I snapped, shoving him with so much force that he fell of the bed and landed on his back. 

He yelped out in pain as his head collided with the floor. I _wanted_ to feel bad. I really did. 

"Josh. Stop acting like a child and talk to me!" He shouted after standing up. 

"Fuck you!" I spat, turning to the side table and grabbing the lamp to throw it at Tyler's head. 

He ducked and the lamp collided with the wall behind him. It shattered into a million pieces. He looked at me with tears brimming his eyes. 

"You need to calm down." Tyler demanded in a soft yet firm voice.

I let out a small chuckle. 

"You want me to calm down?" I asked. 

He nodded. 

"Oh, I'll show you calm." I replied, shooting up from the bed and over to Tyler. 

I slammed his body against the wall and pinned his arms to his sides. He looked absolutely terrified. I felt trapped in my own skin. Like I was possessed.

"Josh p-please." He begged me to stop as I continuously slammed his body against the wall.

"I'm s-sorry!" He sobbed repeatedly.

I couldn't seem to regain control of myself. 

"Are you really?" I asked, staring into his tear filled eyes. 

He nodded rapidly. 

I released my hold on him and shoved him towards the bathroom. 

"Go clean yourself up." I spat. 

"You're a god damn mess." 

(Tyler's POV)

"You're a god damn mess." Josh spat. 

I quickly ran off and slammed the bathroom door shut behind me. Tears fell from my eyes like raging rivers. I thought I'd never stop crying. I regathered myself awhile later and took a look in the mirror. I looked pathetic. My hair was matted with dry blood, and bruises in the shape of fingerprints were starting to form. I knew that Josh had a temper, but I never thought he'd use it on me. I decided that I couldn't stay here with Josh. I refused. I quietly made my way out of the bathroom and took a look around the apartment. All I had brought with me was a jacket, my cell phone, and my shoes. If I could gather my things quickly, I could leave unnoticed. If I did get noticed, it wouldn't be good. I took my chances and quickly went to gather my items. As I turned the handle and began to open the door, a hand appeared from behind me and slammed it shut. 

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Josh asked with gritted teeth, his left arm wrapping tightly around my midsection. 

"Home. I need to go home." I replied, surprisingly calm.

He spun me around and backhanded my left cheek. 

"You're staying here tonight." 

I gripped my cheek and let out a sob as the stinging began to intensify. 

"Shut the fuck up would ya? Look, it's late and I need to sleep so stop your crying and get the fuck into bed so I can go to sleep." He demanded ripping my jacket off of my shoulders and shoving me towards my side of the bed. 

I had no choice but to obey his orders. I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't. Josh was clearly in no mood to be messed with and I knew better than to push my luck. I crawled into bed and laid on my side. I was afraid to move. Josh climbed in a few seconds later and wrapped his arms around me tightly. 

"Goodnight Baby Boy." He murmered in my ear, kissing my neck, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. 

I didnt sleep that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow SAD AF Lmao sorry but you know that's all I'm good at writing! Anyways, I'm trying my best to get this story back on track. I know I tend to have a bunch of filler chapters when I don't know what to write and I apologize for that. I'm trying to stop doing that so much. Shameless self promotion but I'm about to start writing another Joshler fic soon so if you want to be around for that make sure you subscribe to me or however it works on this site. I love each and every one of you as individuals and together as my readers. You're the only reason I keep putting more of my work out here so keep it up! <3


	33. "We Need To Talk"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler leaves Josh's place and returns home. His parents confront him.

(Tyler's POV)

When the morning came around, I still hadn't even so much as shut my eyes. Josh woke up around 5:30am and I pretended that I was asleep, hoping for him to just leave and let me be. He didn't. 

"Get up." Josh demanded, gripping my arm and pulling me into a standing position. 

"I have some stuff to do today. Go home." 

I gave a soft "okay" and began gathering my few items. 

"I'm gonna be busy all week so don't bother coming over until Friday evening unless I tell you otherwise got it?" He asked, gripping my face so we could lock eyes. 

I nodded. 

"Use your words Tyler." Josh growled. 

"Y-yes." I stammered out. 

He just smiled. 

"Good." 

I walked out the door first, Josh following after. As I began to walk away, he pulled me into an embrace. 

"See ya this weekend." He whispered into my ear, nipping at my earlobe as he pulled away.

I shivered.

"See y-you." I murmered before walking off. 

-

"Tyler," My mother called out as I entered the house. 

I rounded the corner only to see her and my father sitting at the kitchen table.

"We need to talk." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm not dead! Okay so this chapter is so short and stupid but I promise the next one will be longer (and more depressing). Idk when it will be up but I'm assuming probably not for awhile since I haven't started actually writing it yet. Anyways, I hope you guys can forgive me for being so inactive! If you haven't noticed, I've deleted nearly all my fics on this page. That's because I am going to be revising them and then reuploading them when the time is right so for those of you who may be concerned about the whereabouts of those stories, don't worry, they're not dead! 
> 
> Stay Alive Frens |-/


	34. I Am Not As Fine As I Seem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's parents confront him about some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA  
> This isn't just for this particular chapter but also just for this entire story. I'd like it to be made known that I do NOT romanticize nor do I support or am okay with domestic abuse/violence. It's just a part of my story and I strongly encourage anyone who may be going through something similar in real life to get some help and to get as far away from your abuser as possible. 
> 
> Thank You

(Tyler's POV) 

"We need to talk." 

My heart dropped into my stomach and all I could hear was the ringing in my ears.

"A-about what?" I stammered, sweat beginning to form on my brow. 

"Take a seat, honey." My mother said, gesturing to the empty chair across from her and my father. 

I took a deep breath and forced my feet to move. Once I was seated, my father opened his mouth. 

"Your mother and I have been noticing some.. strange behaviour lately." He started. 

I swallowed hard. 

"Tyler, you disappear. For hours at a time. Sometimes overnight. And nobody seems to know where it is you go. You don't answer our calls or texts and your brother found this in your room." My father stated, holding up what was left of my weed stash I had bought from Brendon.

"Look, we were your age once too. Believe it or not your father and I have both had our share of experimental drug use and sneaking out after curfew. So we understand that these things are a part of being young. However, we expect you to at least tell us where you've been and have the decency to hide your pot better." She finished.

"We're just concerned. That's all."

I looked at both of them and then down at my intertwined fingers. 

"You're only seventeen Tyler. Your mother and I have a right to know where you're spending your time and sneaking out to."

I scoffed.

"I'm not sneaking out anywhere." I lied through my teeth.

Now, it was my parent's turn to scoff. 

"There's no point in lying Tyler. We can hear your car when you start it at night." 

"We just want to know what's going on." 

I looked down again and just shook my head.

"We've gotten calls from the school. Your teachers say you've been cutting class. And Coach Johnson said you quit the basketball team. Why? I thought we agreed to work hard for our dreams. Now you can't get a scholarship for basketball! What the hell else is going to get you into Ohio State?!" My father shouted. 

"Maybe if you weren't so busy forcing me to shoot five-hundred hoops before dinner you could shut up and listen to me for once! I don't even want to go to Ohio State. Or college at all for that matter." I confessed. 

Both my parents fell silent.

"We agreed that you were going to play basketball for OSU and that's how you were going to achieve your dreams while also finishing up your education. You have to go to college one way or another." 

I opened my mouth to protest but my mother cut me off. 

"Can we get back onto subject here please?" She asked, looking at both my father and I. 

We remained silent. 

"Thank you." She said, before continuing. 

"Now, when your father and I first began to notice your strange behavior, I reached out to Jenna considering you two are best friends. And best friends often tell each other everything. But, when we spoke, she told me that she didn't really know what was going on either. So it would be best to just confront you and ask. However, every time I tried, you just pushed me away so I got into contact with the second closest person in your life." 

"Lauren."

I tensed at the name. Images of her all over Ryan flooded my brain, making my stomach churn in disgust. Bile rose in my throat but was quickly swallowed back down.

"She told me that you were probably upset because the two of you broke up."

I rolled my eyes. At least she kept it simple and didn't spare the details.

"She also said the break up happened because she caught you cheating on her, with Jenna, at some sleazy party you swore up and down you were not attending because it would make us upset. Your father and I raised you better than that Tyler Robert. What awful choices you have made." My mother roughly scolded, her expression full of disappointment and disgust.

I let out a forced laugh. 

"That's funny you would mention her." I began, my blood beginning to boil in my veins.

"You see, she's actually the reason I quit the team. I didn't cheat on her okay? And certainly not with Jenna. She's my best friend, nothing more. Lauren cheated on me. With Ryan Jacobs. And the only reason I was at the 'sleazy party' of which I did claim I was not attending due to my parents influence, was because Lauren drunk dialed me in the middle of the night and I was trying to be a good boyfriend and make sure she got home unharmed. But clearly she wasn't faithful so I went home and she's only madbecause she got caught. As for the team. there's no fun in being on a team with the guy that your ex girlfriend cheated on you with. That's why I quit the team alright?" I yelled back. 

My parents both stood there frozen. 

"Are you high right now?" My mother finally asked, serious as ever. 

I scoffed. 

"No. What the hell kind of question is that?!" 

Lies lies lies.

"Drunk?" My father asked, also very serious. 

"No." 

Liar.

"Well the story you just told us makes no sense whatsoever. Lauren is too nice of a girl to do something like that. And you know as well as I that Ryan and his family are advid members of the church. He would never do something so heinous!" My mother spoke, taken aback as if my so called story had personally offended her. 

"It's not a story! It's the truth." I spoke back, anger lacing my words.

"Have you been sneaking out to smoke, drink, and have sex with Jenna?" My mother interrogated, crossing her arms. 

"God damn it no!" I shouted, frustration pushing me to the edge. 

"I told you that we're best friends and neither of us feel like that towards each other!" 

"You're not fooling us for one minute young man. Confess your sins!" My mother demanded, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest. 

"You want the truth?" I asked, chest heaving from heavy breathing. 

Both my parents nodded. 

"I'm gay." I breathed out, a breath of relief following. 

I was finally able to say it. 

"And I have a boyfriend." I added, reffering to Josh even though we weren't really offficial. 

My parent stood there with nothing to say.

"And we met at that stupid party. So, I guess something good actually did come out of all of this. I've been staying at his apartment most nights."

The silence between us three was deafening. 

"Well, you better call him and tell him you'll be moving in permantely." My father finally spoke.

"What?" I replied.

"You are not welcome in this home if you are going to make such unchristian decisions."

"No son of ours is going to be a fag." My mother remarked, glaring at me. 

"It's not a choice, mom." I said sternly, looking between the two of them, hoping that this was just some sick joke they were playing. 

It wasn't. 

"You better go start packing. I want you out by morning." My father spoke, eyes refusing to meet mine. 

"Fine." I scoffed, turning around to walk up the stairs. 

"I don't need you anyways." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I don't even know what to say about this chapter. Honestly, it just gets worse from here on out so fair warning. I appreciate every single one of you and even though I say it a lot, I really do mean it. 
> 
> |-/


	35. We're Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good friend comes to the rescue when Tyler needs it the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only going to be adding in warnings for chapters that contain things such as death, rape/noncon, or very graphic violence from now on.

(Tyler's POV) 

I made my way down the street, a heavy suitcase rolling behind my heels. With  cold winds blowing against my skin and causing goosebumps to form, I was beginning to regret not grabbing my winter coat from the coat closet.What the hell was I going to do now? I thought of who I could call. Jenna and I still haven't really spoken since I walked out on her the last time we hung out. Plus, showing up at someone's doorstep with a suitcase in hand and some sob story about how your parents kicked you out for being gay makes it hard for someone to say no to you. She'd be forced to take pity on me and that was the last thing I wanted. Josh was very serious about me not coming back around until the weekend. He'd surely be displeased with me if I disobeyed and showed up unexpectedly.

" _I have an idea."_ **Blurry** spoke up, an ominous chuckle following his words. 

_"Why don't you just go and lay in the street? A car or two are bound to come by eventually. And then they can drive over your worthless body until they crush every single bone in your body. Only then would you really wish that you had never been born."_

I grasped the sides of my head, trying to think of anything else other than blurry's words.

 _"I wouldn't do that if I were you."_ He spoke. 

" _Afterall, I'm all you have left. You wouldn't want to push me away too."_

Tears began falling down my cheeks as I collapsed to the ground on my knees.

He was right. 

_"Ooh I wonder what Josh is doing right now. I bet he's fucking another insignificant little twink just like you in his bed as we speak. That's got to bethe reason why he doesn't want you around! He's gotten what he wanted from you and now he's moving on to the next. One virgin ass after the other. I've solved the puzzle! I'm a fucking genius! Boy am I glad that he's gone though. He kept me from talking to you."_

"SHUT UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, getting a few angry reactions from people in their homes nearby. 

" _And don't even get me started on Jenna."_ **Blurry** began again. 

 _"I bet she is on the phone with every local news station as we speak. I can see the headlines now! 'Good boy gone bad? How one little fag ruined his entire life in a matter of 3 months.' The public will just eat that up!_ " He cackled loudly. 

"Please." I sobbed. 

"S-stop." 

 **Blurry** chuckled lowly. 

_"Never."_

"Tyler?" I suddenly heard, looking up. 

"Jenna?" I asked, my voice small. 

"What are you doing out in the cold? It's about to rain! You shouldn't be out in this weather!" She scolded me. 

I wondered how I managed to not even notice her black Prius parked in the street. Was I really _that_ out of it? 

"They kicked me out." I mumbled, hugging my suitcase. 

"What?" Jenna asked, her voice soft. 

"Because I'm gay." My breath became hard to catch as sobs racked my chest. 

Jenna sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around my body. 

"My parents kicked me out because they found out about Josh. God I don't know what I'm gonna do." I sniffled, wiping my face with my shirt sleeve. 

"You're not going to be homeless. That I can tell you. You're coming to live with me." Jenna declared, with no room for opposition. 

I looked over at her.

"I could never ask for something like that." I replied, guilt already sinking into my chest. 

"You didn't ask. I made a statement and I'm sticking to it. You're coming to live with me and that's final." Jenna responded, resting her hand on my cheek and lowering my head onto her shoulder. 

"Lets go home." She whispered, standing up and then helping me to my feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tyler :(


	36. Thank God It's Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler has been staying with Jenna and her parents for three days. The weekend comes around and Tyler returns to Josh as he planned.

(Tyler's POV)

It was finally Friday and I couldn't be happier. Friday meant the weekend and the weekend not only meant no school, but it also meant I was able to go see Josh again. Don't get me wrong, staying with Jenna and her parents had been great and all, but I simply cannot ask to stay another week. Despite them telling me to stay as long as I needed, I somehow felt like they didn't mean their words. My hopes were set on Josh letting me stay at his place. At least until I found my own apartment. Maybe he'd be willing to compromise.

"Hey Ty, my parents and I are gonna hit up the grocery store and then stop by the video store to pick up a movie to watch.  Wanna tag along?" Jenna asked, peeking her head around the corner and into the spare room I was currently residing in. 

"Nah, I'm gonna go for a walk. Could use some fresh air." I replied, already slipping my beat up vans on my sock covered feet. 

Her face seemed to fall a little. But she quickly recovered with a small smile. 

"Gotcha. I'll see you later then?" She asked, searching for confirmation. 

"Yeah." I replied, biting on the inside of my cheek. 

Jenna spared a gentle smile before exiting the room and driving off with her parents. Once their car was out of sight, I locked up the Black's front door and made my way towards Josh's place. 

\- Time Skip - 

Walking on foot to Josh's apartment had been more of a challenge than I expected it to be. First, I was almost ran over by some crazed woman behind the wheel of a beige Buick when I crossed the road. Then, just as I was almost at Josh's apartment complex, some idiot sped past me on the road and swerved right into a small puddle of rain water. The impact of the car caused the water to splash all over my shoes and pant legs, soaking them from the knee down. By the time I finally got to Josh's door, I looked and felt like even more of a mess than I had already been. With three sharp knocks, I patiently waited for Josh to open the door and let me in. When five minutes had passed and not a single sound was heard from the other side, I decided to try again. After another five minutes went by, with not so much as a sound coming from inside the apartment, I came to the conclusion that Josh must have been out and not home. I let out a heavy sigh and rested my forehead against the door. Could today get any worse? 

"Tyler?" I heard from behind me. 

When I turned around and saw Josh, I let out a sigh of relief. 

"There you are. I was beginning to think you weren't ever coming back." I joked, giving his arm a gentle push. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking down at me with an unamused expression.

"It's technically the weekend. You told me not to come back until then so, here I am." I replied, cowering down slightly but still looking into his eyes. 

"I said don't come back til Friday evening dipshit." Josh responded harshly, sticking the key into his deadbolt and unlocking the door. 

"It's only 3pm. Which if you weren't aware, is the afternoon. Not evening." 

I swallowed hard and then looked down at the ground.

"I-I just wanted to see you." I squeaked out, feeling smaller than a speck of dirt. 

"Do you want me to leave and come back in a few hours?" I asked, trying my best to satisfy him. 

"No. You're already here. Might as well just stay I guess." Josh replied, grabbing my bicep and pulling me into his apartment so he could shut the door. 

I tried my best to hide the small smile that crept onto my face. Josh walked over to the nightstand and pulled out a lighter. He brought a cigarette to his lips and lit the end, inhaling the nicotine as he placed the lighter back in the drawer. 

"You gonna just stand there all day?" Josh asked as he exhaled his smoke, breaking the silence. 

I didn't realize that I had been standing still as I watched Josh move around the room. 

I shook my head no. 

"Actually there was something I'd like to talk to y-" I began, but Josh cut me off. 

"Good. Then how about dropping to your knees and making yourself useful?" 

I looked at Josh and furrowed my brow.

Was he serious?

When he shot me a glare that said "get over here and blow me or you'll regret it",  I decided to save my question for another time and made my way over to Josh, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. I dropped down to my knees and reached for his jean button, undoing it as I began the process of doing what I was told. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know. "Why do you always leave us hanging?! Why can't you just write out some good smut once in awhile?" Blah blah blah. I'll be honest when I say that I'm a horrible smut writer so there's that. Also, the way I ended it just felt right for this chapter. I didn't want to drag it on any longer by actually writing out the whole blowjob scene. I promise there will be more opportunities for me to write out actual smut and there will be more chances for you guys to actually read proper scenes. But for now, I'm gonna leave it as is. 
> 
> |-/


	37. Things Are Getting Out Of Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh drags Tyler to yet another party. Bad things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> -violence  
> -alcohol

(Tyler's POV) 

Later that same night, Josh somehow convinced me to go to yet another party with him. After last time, I promised myself that I would **never** go to another one of those stupid parties. But, as I'm sure you all know, there is no rejection when it comes to Josh. I either obey him and happily oblige to his every request and command, or I suffer the consequences. I choose the former. 

"Hey." Josh's voice broke me out of my thoughts. 

"I said go get me another beer." He repeated, picking up his empty bottle and waving it in my face. 

I took a deep breath and gave him a nod, before turning around and walking towards the mixing station. I wanted to cut him off three drinks ago but knew better than to set him off. This particular party was being hosted inside some sleezy bar in downtown Cincinnati. Something about "a few friends" meeting up. Sometimes I think Josh just drags me along to provide entertainment for his friends. Afterall, who would he have to treat like a piece of garbage if I weren't around? 

"Two beers please." I spoke to the bartender who gave me a nod of acknowledgement.

The bar was pretty busy tonight. Not enough to be considered packed but definitely more than any other average night. 

"Hey beautiful." I suddenly heard from beside me. 

As I turned to my left, I noticed a guy smiling at me. He was tall, and had dark brown hair. 

"I'm Luke." He introduced himself, with a grin. 

"Tyler." I replied with a small smile. 

"You come here alone?" He asked, biting his lip as he started checking me out. 

"Actually I-" I began but was cut off.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Josh spat at me, not evening paying attention to Luke. 

"I-I." I struggled to find the words I was looking for.

"He was just talking to me." Luke butted in, standing up to match height with Josh. 

"Was I fucking talking to you?" Josh asked with a snarl. 

"Josh, leave him alone." I pleaded, sinking down in my seat when he gave me a glare. 

"What in the hell do you think you're doing talking to my boy?" Josh spat at Luke, jabbing his index finger into his chest. 

"Last I checked it was legal for anyone to talk to anyone they wanted to. Plus, how was I supposed to know he had a boyfriend? He was alone when I approached him." Luke spat back, swatting Josh's hand away from his chest. 

This sent Josh into a full out rage. 

"You think you're so macho? Put up your fists then, pussy boy." Josh challenged, swinging at Luke and successfully hitting him in the jaw. 

Luke stumbled back and grasped his now bleeding face. Oh god this was not going to be good. 

"Josh please stop! We were just talking while I waited on your beer!" I begged, hoping it would work to calm Josh down at least a little. 

It didn't. 

Josh kept swinging at Luke. And Luke swung back this time. He only got one punch in though. After a few minutes had passed, and people were starting to gather around to watch the fight, I spotted an opportunity to break this up. I have had enough and that it was time for this stupid fight to end. 

"Josh, stop!" I demanded, attempting to get in between him and Luke. 

Big mistake. 

"Josh that enou-" I was silenced by a punch to the eye. 

I fell to the floor and held back a sob as I gripped onto my sore face.

"Oh Fuck." Someone muttered. 

The bar that was loud moments before fell silent. 

"T-tyler I-"

I helped myself to my feet and quietly pushed through the small crowd of people. 

"Tyler!" I heard from behind me. 

It was Josh. 

"Save it!" I shouted, as I continued to walk out of the bar, still clutching onto my swelling eye. 

"Hey!" Josh shouted, finally catching up with me. 

"I didn't mean to hit you. You got in the way!" He answered harshly, grasping onto my arm and turning me around so I could face him. 

"So now it's my fault that you decided to get in a fight because you're fucking wasted?!" I shouted back, offended. 

"I didn't say that! And I'm not f-fucking wasted!" He slurred. 

I scoffed and turned back around. 

"Let me see it." Josh demanded, grasping my wrist that covered my eye and pulling  it away to look at my blossoming shiner. 

"Don't touch me!" I spat, ripping my wrist out of his grip and pushing him away from me.

"W-where d-o you th-ink you're g-going?!" Josh asked as I began to walk away, attempting to grip my arm again. 

"I'm going home." I spat back. 

"What about me?!" He asked, hurt lacing his tone. 

"You'll figure something out." 

And with that, I left. Leaving an intoxicated Josh standing on the sidewalk, wondering exactly how he was going to get home without my help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand things get even worse for Tyler. My god I wish I could just hug him and give Josh a nice wake up call (in the form of a fist to his face!) I'm sure you all feel that way too. 
> 
> |-/


	38. Left Out In The Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh comes back to the apartment. He's furious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning***  
> -violence  
> -abuse

(Tyler's POV) 

I was woken up by a very loud slam. Josh came into view a few moments later. 

"Get up!" He demanded, grabbing me by the wrist to speed up the process. 

"Ouch! Josh let go. You're hurting me!" I shouted back, ripping my arm from his grasp. 

"Get out." Josh growled, breathing heavily. 

"What? No." I replied, standing my ground. 

"I said get the FUCK out!" Josh repeated, gripping me by the back of my shirt and dragging me towards the door. 

"No! What the fuck did I do?!" I flailed my body, trying to get out of his grip. 

"You left me at the bar. And then you came back to my damn apartment and slept in my fucking bed!" 

"Meanwhile, I had to get a ride home from Dallon and listen to him and some god damn twink fuck each other's brains out!" Josh successfully opened the door and kept a hold of me. 

"That's not my fault! You shouldn't have gotten wasted!" I yelled, still trying to get out of his grasp. 

"Leave and don't fucking come back." Josh pushed me out the door. 

"Wait!" I exclaimed, catching my foot between the door. 

"Where am I supposed to go?" I asked, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 

"My parents kicked me out last week. I have nowhere to go Josh!" I raised my voice, emotion pouring through. 

"That's not my problem." Josh replied, nudging my foot out of the door and slamming it in my face. 


	39. "He Can't Stay Here Anymore"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler wanders. Flashbacks occur.

(Tyler's POV) 

I walked around aimlessly for what felt like hours. My legs were on fire. And the cold winds blowing against my face made everything feel that much colder. I finally found some sort of shelter from the wind under an overpass. Nobody else seemed to be around.

 _"Way to go, Tyler."_ **Blurry** suddenly decided to make an appearance.

"Fuck off." I spat, curling up into myself in attempts to get warmer.

 _"Now you really have nobody."_ He noted, nonchalantly.

_"I mean first your parents, then Jenna, now Josh. Tsk tsk tsk you just can't be loved by nobody can you?"_

"I said fuck off!"  

 **Blurry** seemed to actually listen for a minute, as he didn't speak again. 

With silence filling my ears, my mind chose to wander. Particularly to the final night I was at Jenna's.

***Flashback***

"Will, he can't just stay here forever!" 

"Debbie, the kid has nowhere else to go. Cut him some slack!" 

Tyler listened carefully, hidden by the corner he was just around. 

"He's been friends with Jenna since they were both practically in diapers! We can't just kick him out!" Jenna's parents continued to whisper-yell at each other.

"I know that Will, I do. But, he's changed. He isn't the same little boy who went to church and was always over here every weekend. He's got trouble written all over him and I just want what's best for our daughter!" Jenna's mom, Debbie, spoke. 

Tyler had to bite his lip to suppress the whimper that wanted to leave his lips. They didn't want him. Just like his parents. He couldn't believe it. 

 _"What a surprise, nobody here wants you around either!"_ **Blurry** spoke up, a taunting tone lacing his words. 

"We have to tell Jenna that he can't stay here anymore. I know she will be upset but when that boy ends up in jail or overdosed in some Palm Springs hotel room, she will thank us for this." 

Will just sighed before dropping the topic altogether. 

*** End of Flashback ***

A tear of two had managed to slip out as I thought back to that day. Surely, Jenna's parents had talked to her about me by now. So I couldn't just go back and tell her that I needed to stay a few more days. Especially not with the black eye I had just received the previous day. Her parents would go apeshit if I came back with a shiner and some story about how I fell and hit my face on a table or some other stupid excuse. I knew I was no longer welcomed in their home. And some small, naive part of me actually thought Josh would be understanding and let me move in. 

How fucking stupid am I?

 _"Very."_ **Blurry** answered. 

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"Please, please, please, let me sleep and never wake up again." 

 _"I second that. It's about time you and I were on the same page."_ **Blurry** smiled wickedly. 


	40. Dazed and Kind of Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh tries his best not to think about Tyler.

(Josh's POV)

The moment I shut the door in Tyler's face, I knew things were never going to be the same again. Hell, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't want to ever come back either. The look of pure desperation and fear on his face seemed to be permanently etched into my brain. It's all I could see when I closed my eyes. Sighing heavily, I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a pre rolled joint. I have yet to have an issue so big, that it couldn't be solved by a little marijuana. After the first inhale, I let my body relax and fell back into my bed. The one side was still warm from where Tyler had slept. At this realization, I took another long, and deep hit, choking only a little on the exhale. 

Hit after hit, and swig after swig of stale liquor I had leftover in my kitchen, nothing seemed to be able to drown Tyler out of my thoughts. Part of me considered dialing his number and telling him to come back, but I've never been one for heartfelt apologies, and I knew he wouldn't come around without one. My second best option was to drown myself in activities that required all my attention. I decided on the latter. 

"Hello?" Came a voice from the other side of the line. 

"Send your best. I'll text you the details." 

A small sound of acknowledgement was heard from the other person before the line went dead. 

-

What felt like an eternity later, a knock rang through my apartment. 

"Finally." I muttered, getting up to answer the door. 

When I opened up the door, I had to do a double take. Between the sun-kissed skin and fluffy brown hair, I was almost sure it was Tyler. 

"Do I fit your requirements?" The doppelgänger asked with a bored tone. 

"Well enough." I muttered out, moving aside to let the boy into my domain. 

"So, where do you want me? Bed, couch, on my knees?" 

I pondered in thought for a moment before replying. 

"Bed, face down." I replied, steadily removing each piece of clothing I was wearing as I walked over to my bed. 

The boy obliged, stripping his toned physique of what little clothing he had been wearing. 

"I've got three more clients to see tonight, so let's make this quick. Okay?" 

I gave no reply as I mindlessly rolled a condom on myself and lined up with his hole. 

-

"So, were you satisfied with your service?" The boy asked, putting his shirt back on. 

"Sure." I responded with a bored tone, as I lit another cigarette. 

"You know," the boy began, placing himself next to me and snaking his arms around my shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down my bare chest. 

"I could always cancel the rest of my appointments for the night, and we could go for round two. Free of charge. How's that sound, _daddy_." I shuddered in disgust at the pet name. 

"You can go now." I replied, rolling my shoulders to get his lingering touch off of me. 

The boy scoffed. 

"You can't just fuck me that good and then force me to leave. I promise I'll quit the business. Just for you, if you promise to keep fucking my brains out like you just did tonight. It can be us against the world." The boy pressed, practically throwing himself at me. 

I shoved him off of me once again. 

"I said get. out." I growled, pushing the boy whose name I never bothered to catch towards the front door. 

"Fine." He scoffed. 

"Your loss." 

And with that, I was left alone. With nothing but the deafening silence of being alone to keep me company. 

I wanted Tyler back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shitty update filled with angst and disgust. I was pretty grossed out writing this tbh. More shit to go down next chapter 
> 
> |-/


	41. I'm Not Looking Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler has a confrontation.

(Tyler's POV) 

It's been nearly a week since Josh kicked me out. A small part of me wished he would come looking for me and beg for me to come back, but I knew his pride would never let him do such a thing. Another part of me wished that someone would come along and take me off the cold streets. Whether to love or to torture, I'd be fine with either. Then again, what's the difference? My legs had gone numb after awhile. I couldn't tell if it was from sitting on them, the cold, or both. So, I decided to stretch them out and go for a walk. Afterall, I had nowhere else to be. About halfway into my walk around the block, a black prius pulled up along side me and began driving at the pace I was walking. 

"Tyler." I heard from beside me. 

I didn't even have to look to know it was Jenna. 

"What do you want?" I spat, still not looking at her. 

"To talk." She replied, trying to keep her focus on me and the road. 

"Then you better start talking. My turns coming up." 

"I know you must've heard my parents that night." Jenna began. 

A bitterful snicker left my lips. 

"No shit." 

"I just want to let you know that I've talked to them and they know now that they were wrong to judge you. So please, get in so we can go home." She pleaded, sadness in her tone. 

I stopped walking and finally looked at her. When her face fell, I knew she had noticed my black eye. But, she didn't say anything about it.

"Your place is not my home Jenna. I don't belong there. Look, it's nice of you to waste your time trying to find me and all, but I've decided that I'm going to walk away and never look back. Columbus is the hometown that once was, but never will be again." I replied, starting up my wall again. 

"Like hell you are!" Jenna practically shouted at me, stepping out of her car to follow me on foot. 

"I've been looking all over this god damn city for you! For nearly a month!! And now that I've finally found you, you're just going to walk away and pretend that everything will be so much better somewhere else?" 

"Yeah." I responded, nonchalantly. 

"Look at me, Tyler!" Jenna demanded, grabbing my bicep and turning me around to face her. 

"Where have you been this entire time?"

"At Josh's." I only partially lied.

"Is he the one who did that to you?" She asked, pointing to my bruised face. 

"No." I lied again.

She didn't believe me.

"You're coming home with me. And no, you don't have another choice because I didn't ask, I made a statement and I'm sticking to it." She fiercely stated, trying to pull me towards her car. 

"No I'm not!" I spat, jerking my arm out of her grip. 

"Look, I told you that I'm not going with you and I meant that. I'm just fine where I am and I don't need you or your god damn parents to pity me like some god damn stray animal!" My voice was at full volume now, getting the attention of a few lingering people around. 

"Please." Jenna looked into my eyes, hers glazed over with tears that were ready to spill at any minute. 

"I'm sorry Jenn, but this is just how it's gotta be." I reached out and grabbed her hand, before placing a gentle kiss to the backside of it and then turning to walk away. 

She didn't chase after me this time. 

-

Later that night, I had almost wished that I would have taken Jenna's offer. The winds were picking up minute by minute and a soft rain began to fall. My freezing body was desperate for shelter. I was sure I was going to freeze to death before morning came. 

"Hey." A gruff voice spoke, startling me. 

I looked up from where I was sitting to see a man who had to be in his thirties or fourties at least. 

"Need a place to stay?" He asked, offering his hand for me to grab. 

I didn't want to take it. I really didn't. But, I had already refused one offer of free shelter today. And my body was going to shut down before I even had a chance to see the morning sun. 

"T-thanks." I studdered, teeth chattering as I took the strange man's hand. 

"Not a problem, kid." He replied, an undetectablely ominous tone in his voice. 

I didn't know yet, but I was soon to find out that nobody's help is ever really free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone picks up on the very subtle kind of not there hint as to who the man at the end could be, let me know! I want to see if anyone gets it right. 
> 
> Hint: he's been in this fic before, a very small part, but semi significant nonetheless
> 
> Also, some real bad shit is going to be coming up. I don't know yet if I'll be writing it out in detail, or if I'll just add it into the story in the form of semi descriptive flashbacks. Either way, just be prepared! 
> 
> |-/


	42. Detective Black & Detective Dun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been four weeks.

(Josh's POV) 

A very sharp and constant knock on my front door ripped me from my slumber. I groggily made my way to the door, shouting "just a fucking second!" as I reached for the knob. When I opened the door, I came face to face with a blonde girl. She had piercing blue eyes and appeared to be about 5'5 or so. 

"Can I help you?" I asked, sort of rudely. 

But could you blame me? A stranger was knocking at my damn door at eight in the morning! 

"Are you Josh?" She asked, her tone sounding similar to the one I had moments before. 

"Yeah." I answered, a little confused. 

"My names Jenna. I'm a friend of Tyler's." 

At the sound of his name, I tensed up. 

"If you're looking for him, he isn't here." I stated, cutting off whatever she was about to say. 

She looked into my eyes and then rolled her own. 

"I know. That's why I'm here." She replied as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. 

"Look, I don't even know you I-" I began to speak but Jenna cut me off. 

"Would you just listen for a minute?!" She asked, or rather demanded. 

I was going to respond but shut my mouth when she began to glare at me. 

"Tyler has been my best friend since we were in diapers. He means the world to me and ever since he met you, he's been completely out of it. His stupid parents kicked him out when they found out he was seeing you. So, it's partially your fault that he's gone therefore, it's partially your job to help me find him and get him to come back to Columbus. So, you can either let me in and start by telling me when you last saw him, or I can stand here until you decide you want to talk. Which is it going to be?" 

I looked at her with raised brows. She couldn't be serious! When she didn't break eye contact, I knew she must have been. 

"Fine." I sighed, stepping aside. 

"Come in." 

-

"And when I finally found him, he was hanging out in some park down in New Albany." 

My head shot up at that. 

"Which park?" I demanded.

Jenna looked spooked. 

"Uh I-I don't remember the name." She stammered.

"Its important that you remember the name. I need to know damn it!" 

"I can't remember it!" She shouted back. 

"Well try!" 

Jenna pondered for a few minutes.

"W-Wexner! It was Wexner Park!" She blurted out, finally remembering the name.

Just what I was afraid of. 

"We've got to go. You have a car?" 

She nodded and began to follow me out the door.

"The last time I saw him was weeks ago. He's probably moved onto another place." Jenna spoke as we got into her car.

"Give me your keys." I demanded, so I could drive. 

She didn't hesitate. 

"I hope for his own sake that he's far away from Wexner." I mumbled under my breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed some things so everything adds up more. From the chapter titled "We Need To Talk" up until this chapter is altered in some way or another so feel free to skim those chapters for any changed information etcetera. Thanks for being patient with my constant revisings.
> 
> |-/


	43. Back to the drawing board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an actual chapter but please read if you like this fic. (Don't hate me okay?)

I swear I came here with every intention to add a chapter that you all as readers of this fic have been waiting for for over a month. I really did. HOWEVER, I'm in a rut and it's never been this bad. My writers block is awful and is more intense and prolonged than it has ever been so I just need to figure some things out.

In the mean time, I have decided to pull this story from AO3.

(this will remain posted until as many readers as possible have seen this update) 

I am so sorry to anyone who spent their time reading this just to see it get deleted from the site. I promise I am going to keep this fic in my personal writing space (so it's not dead and gone, just gone for awhile) while I try to get reinspired like I had originally been when this story was first born. I don't want to see this story go to waste and turn into something it's not just because I've lost sight of the original vision and decided to rush it along. This is my baby and I want it to be perfect. Lately I feel like these past updates have been nothing but fillers because I haven't treated the writing process as delicately as I should have. You guys deserve to be able to read this when it's at it's best, not some dumb knock off version I wrote in 6 months. 

I promise you this is not the last of this fic you have seen. I've just got to get re-inspired and go back to the drawing board so to speak. It's my job as a writer to give you my best and lately, I have not been doing that. So, I must put this project aside for the time being. 

I would like to take this time to thank every single reader who has not only spared their time, but has left kudos, bookmarks, comments, and subscriptions. Words will never be able to express how grateful and happy I am for how many people actually took time out of their lives to read something I created. I have the utmost respect for you all. 

As for my writing in general, I do have some smaller, less significant but still important to me fics that I have been working on that I may or may not update/post for the time being to fill the void. So, if you like my writing style as a whole and not just P&P, I am more than okay with anyone who wants to read any of my other posted work. 

Until next time Frens

|-/ 


	44. Take a vote:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter update, but still extremely important please take part in it.

Okay so hi! It’s been a very long time I know. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and while I love all the love and responses etc this fic has already gotten, I’ve been in a bit of a predicament lately. I don’t mean to be like this (because I still love Joshler!!) but lately I’ve been thinking about perhaps changing the characters (but keeping the story the same). Do you guys think that would be better? I know a lot of you are here specifically because it’s a Joshler fic, but I’ve just been brainstorming if you will, and I think there are some other characters I’d love to incorporate into this story maybe instead of Tyler and Josh. My first thought was to turn this into a WWE fic. The main pairing would be Ambrollins (Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins) and it would include bits from when they were Jon Moxley and Tyler Black amongst other characters like Roman Reigns etc. I know I’d probably lose a lot of my readers especially if they aren’t in the WWE fandom, but I figured I would see what the response would be if it were to happen. If I get a bunch of you guys saying “no no please don’t just keep it as a Joshler fic” then I will, but I figured I’d explore my options here. So, if you guys reading this will, please leave me a comment with your vote! Either #Joshler #Ambrollins or a hashtag of your own pairing you’d prefer over the other two, who knows, I might know it! Again, I’m sorry to those of you who came here expecting the long awaited update, I’m just very busy right now. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who not only decided to give my work a try, but stuck around and continue to stick around waiting for it’s return. You are amazing! I don’t know how long I’ll leave the voting open for, probably until most of not all of my regular readers comment. I don’t want to upset anyone! So, please vote and let me know what you think! 

Thank you <3 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment with you answer please! (I say this every time but I actually truly have been working on parts of this, and it will one day return I promise)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for taking an interest in this I appreciate it so much! I've been working on writing out this idea for a long time and it's one of the few things that I've created that I am proud of. I'm also trying to improve my creative writing skills so if you feel like commenting, please be honest with your feedback! Thank you.


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